Eema-le

The Bitch Is Back

2012-01-31T19:31:00.000-06:00

It's been a long six month since I've posted. A lot has been going on around here. Penelope's sleep issues, or rather lack of sleep issues, are finally improving. I've also had my gallbladder removed. It took 2 trips to the ER, one of them in an ambulance, a couple of ultrasounds, an MRI, and some other radioactive test, as well as a consult with 2 surgeons, and a GI specialist, before the treasonous thing came out. I was happy to see that stupid thing go. I've experienced labor pain, and gallbladder pain, and gallbladder pain is worse. You know what else sucked, eating a nearly fat free diet for over a month. It's so nice to be able to eat normal food again.

The biggest obstacle that I'm successfully navigating, is post partum depression. I was in denial for a long time, but Rick was really adamant that I speak to my doctor about it, and I'm so glad that I did. When my doctor suggested a low dose anti-depressant, I wasn't exactly convinced that it would make a difference. I couldn't have been more wrong. It has changed my life completely.

So now that I'm feeling better, I hope that I can get back to regular blogging. I have so many gaps to fill, Charlotte and Penelope's Halloween costumes, various activities, homeschools, etc. I have so many things to write about. I just hope that I can get back into the rhythm of blogging regularly.

Shove Me in the Shallow Water

2011-08-30T12:22:00.000-05:00

So here's the truth. I've been going through some sort of 1/3 life crisis. Sometimes I feel like crisis, is too strong of a word, and what I', experiencing is more of a malaise, or general dissatisfaction, or angst, but sometimes it does truly feel like a crisis.

I can't pinpoint one specific cause for my "condition". There's so much going on, and there are lots of issues on which I can lay blame. There's the crazy uptick in my chronic pain. I'm not sure if it's hormonal, or due to lack of sleep, but it sucks, and it's depressing as hell. I hate being 34 and feeling like I'm 84. There's the lack of sleep, due to Penelope's dislike of...sleep. There's our financial situation, which is better than it was a year ago, but that's not saying much. And no, I don't want to go into details, because that too, is depressing as hell.

I feel like I'm questioning myself at every turn, and in every way possible. Am I a good mom? A good wife? A good friend? Am I a good anything? What the hell am I anyway? I feel so completely mired in my own personal disappointments, that everything else has taken a back seat to my crap. Worse, that everything else has been shoved into the damned trunk of my figurative car.

I hate feeling like this. I hate feeling out of sorts. I hate feeling so utterly incompetent, and impotent, and whiny. I hate feeling sorry for myself, but that's where I am.

Maybe I just need to embrace it. Let the self-pity, and misery, and self-doubt, wash over me. Give myself permission to dive into them, head first. Maybe allowing myself to do that, will let me see the ladder in the deep end, or maybe, I'll just realize that I can stand on the tips of my toes, and still keep my head above water.

Makes You Wish For A Cold

2011-06-28T17:26:00.000-05:00

Ya'll know how much I love a ridiculously earnest rap song. There's ICP's Miracles, and then there's my all time favorite, R Kelly's Trapped in the Closet. I now have a new song to add to that list. It's definitely NOT safe for work.

Swimwear For Fun & Poop Containment

2011-06-04T22:24:00.001-05:00

I've been thinking about making a swim diaper for Penelope over the last few weeks. I wanted to make something like a Swimmi. Last weekend I went to Joann's and lo and behold, they had swimwear fabric in their clearance bin,and since all of their clearance fabrics were 50% off, the 1/2 yard that I bought only cost $1.25 plus tax. Can't beat that with a stick.

Since I had enough fabric, I decided to make a matching top. I went with a long sleeved, envelope neck T-shirt. I wanted the extra coverage for sun protection. I used McCall's 6103 for the top, but you could easily make a pattern yourself using this Made tutorial.

I guess I wasn't the only one thinking about swim diapers, because there's a great tutorial on Sew, Mama, Sew! as well. Their swim diaper is either a pull-on, or a side snapping diaper. I don't like the idea of a pull-on, and I don't have a KAM snap press/pliers (yet!), so I decided to go ahead with my original idea. You should go over there and take a look at the pictures. They can be really helpful if you've never used fold-over-elastic.

I used the Chloe Toes free diaper pattern to make the bottoms. I made the preemie size, because it's just going on a bare butt, no prefold or other soaker layer. The fabrics I used were a swimwear fabric outer, an inner layer of *polyurethane laminate fabric (PUL), and a layer of mesh. I got the mesh at Joann's, in the utility fabric section. You don't want to get the netting that they have in the apparel fabric section. It's not sturdy enough. You will also need hook and loop tape and fold-over elastic (FOE). You can get all of your supplies at Joann's, that's where I got mine, with coupons of course.

Cut a patter piece from each of your 3 fabrics. I wanted some butt ruffles, who doesn't, so I cut two 1" wide strips from the selvage edge of the fabric. The selvage edge was white, so I thought it would look cuter than cutting the strips from the printed part.

Sew a long running stitch down the ruffle strips (the length and number of strips you will need will vary depending on which size diaper you sew). Lay your PUL, shiny side up, and put your outer fabric (in my case, swimwear fabric) right side up, on top of the PUL. Arrange your ruffle strips on the back end of the pattern and pin. Sew a straight stitch down the middle of the ruffles.

Place a strip of loop across the front of the pattern, and sew down both long edges using a straight stitch.

Both the ruffles and the loop tape are sewn to the outer fabric and the PUL. Don't sew those two things just to the outer fabric, especially if your outer fabric is a knit, because it won't be as sturdy and it could warp the shape of your outer fabric.

Pin the mesh pattern piece to the other fabrics, so that the mesh is next to the PUL. Don't pin the back wings of the pieces together.

Cut two 1" pieces of loop tape and sew them to the back wings of the fabric. Only sew them to the mesh and the PUL, leaving your outer fabric free. These will be your laundry tabs, and will keep the hook/loop tape from snagging anything when washed.

Pin all three layers together, marking the elastic placement points noted on the pattern. Sew your fold-over-elastic all the way around your fabrics, making sure to stretch it between those elastic placement points. Check out the tutorial I linked to if you have never used FOE. There are also some great video tutorials on youtube showing how to use it.

Cut four 1.5" pieces of hook/loop. Two pieces from loop side and two pieces from the hook side. Round one end on each of the pieces, and do a nicer job than I did.

You will sew these on to the ends of the back wings. The loop part will be on top of the outer fabric and the hook part will be against the mesh, so that the wing is sandwiched between the two pieces. Sew all around the tabs using a straight stitch and then zigzag around to keep the hook/loop tape from fraying.

Here's an action shot of the laundry tabs. Pretty neat, huh?

Here's Penelope modeling her new swimwear. From the waist up, she looks like a Duggar.

*You can get PUL at Joann's, in the utility fabric section. I've heard that their PUL is of crappy quality if you use it for covers which require constant washing. Since this is just a swim diaper, I think their PUL would work.

Crossposted to The Thrifty Garde Robe.

Feelin That Cloth Diaper Love

2011-06-01T20:05:00.000-05:00

Firstly, I want to thank Nicole from Nicole at Home and Z as in Zebra, for the awesome diaper covers she sent me. I won them on Giveaway day.

I've been hard at work, sewing fitted diapers from various free patterns that I found online. I'll post a more detailed description later.

This fitted was made from a regular prefold. I used this tutorial. I like the way it turned out, but the leg edges are a little too stiff for my liking. I might make a few more from larger prefolds.

Here's Penelope in the prefold with a fleece cover on. I made the cover using Katrina's pattern, and then washed it with some fabric softener. The softener helps the fleece become more water repellent. It actually works. I wasn't sure that it would work, but she had a good pee and nothing got wet. Notice that Penelope is enjoying her new taggie blanket.

Here, Penelope is modeling another fitted diaper that I made. It's one of the ones that I'll blog about later, but I thought I'd post a picture as a teaser.

I also made a bunch of doublers to use at night. I bought some microfiber car towels, eight for $4 at Walmart, sewed another fabric on top of them, and then turned and top stitched them. I used flannel on half of them and a knit on the other.

Cross posted to The Thrifty Garde Robe.

Taggie/Teething Blanket Tutorial

2011-06-01T16:45:00.002-05:00

There are loads of different taggie blankets out there. I wanted to make one for Penelope because she's been putting everything in her mouth and drooling like crazy. This should satisfy her need to gnaw on things and sop up some of that drool.

Materials; ribbon (I used grosgrain), 2 different fabrics (I used a flannel and a terry), some thread.

Cut;
One 10"x10" square from each of the fabrics (2 total).
Eight 5"x2" pieces from each of the fabrics (16 total).
Eight pieces of ribbon 4" long.
One piece of ribbon 2" long.

Sew the 5"x2" pieces, one of each fabric, right sides together. Leave one short end open for turning.

Turn the rectangles right sides out and lightly press. Fold the ribbon pieces in half and lightly press as well.

Cut off one corner from the larger square pieces. I went in 2" on either side of the square.

Pin the ribbons and rectangles onto one of the larger squares. It's really easy if you have a gridded mat. The shorter piece of ribbon should be pinned to the lopped off corner (bottom right hand side in the pic). Baste all 4 sides.

Layer your second piece of fabric over the basted piece, right sides together. Stitch all the way around, leaving a small opening for turning. Turn right sides out and topstitch, making sure to close the opening that you used for turning.

I knotted a few of the rectangles to give Penelope some thing to really gnaw on. I also added a split ring from another toy to the short ribbon in the lopped off corner.

Cross posted to The Thrifty Garde Robe.

We Have A Winner

2011-05-25T22:23:00.001-05:00

It's comment #16, Linda!

Hello, I actually think I had 9332 and made a few scooter skirts back in the 70's! Great giveaway. Pattern 5881 would be my pick if I'm the lucky winner. Thanks for a chance to win. Linda

Good choice Linda. You can make a brilliant Dr. Girlfriend costume with that pattern, or just a cute suit.

Giveaway Day!

2011-05-22T22:09:00.001-05:00

I'm participating in Sew, Mama, Sew! Giveaway Day. Go to their site to see all of the other bloggers participating. You'll have a chance to win a ton of really cool handmade items and crafting supplies.

I'm giving away vintage sewing patterns. My giveaway is open to U.S. addresses only, sorry. One entry per person/household. To enter, just leave a comment telling me which pattern you would like to win. Please include an e-mail address in your comment. The winner will be chosen using a random number generator. If I get more than 50 comments, I'll pick a second winner. Comments will remain open until 10pm central time, May 25th., and I'll announce the winner on the 26th. Good luck!

Pour Some Lanolin On Me

2011-05-22T13:43:00.002-05:00

We have officially entered the world of cloth diapering. I dragged Rick, kicking and screaming, but he's sort of on board now. I would never have attempted to cloth diaper with Charlotte because A) I thought it was totally gross, and B) she literally pooped every hour on the hour. Her pooping finally slowed down after the first year and she went down to a reasonable number of poos by the time she was two. I'm sure that she's going to love reading this when she's older. Penelope pees a lot, but only poops once a day usually, so that makes cloth diapering less daunting.

Since I knew nothing about using cloth diapers, I did a lot of research online and consulted my friends who have used cloth. After borrowing Jessica's stash for a couple of weeks, I decided that I wanted to go ahead and start my own stash. I liked the idea of covers and prefolds because they're easy to wash an economical. I also loved being able to use the same cover and just swap out a dry prefold for the wet one. I found a bunch of prefolds on craigslist and from another friend, and Rick dyed them for me, using Rit liquid dye (purple, sunshine orange, teal).

I got a few covers from Craigslist and a bunch from Diaperswappers. It was significantly cheaper to buy everything used. My original plan was to make my own covers, but I found used ones, in almost new condition, for what it would have cost me to make them. I'll save my cover sewing supplies for the next size up, when Penelope needs them.

While I was researching cloth diaper sewing patterns and tutorials, I learned that a lot of people love using wool or fleece soakers (pull on diaper covers), over a prefold or fitted. Since I had a bunch of thrift store sweaters that I felted a while back, I decided to sew some soakers. I used Katrina's Quick Sew Soaker pattern. It was really simple, and they turned out great. I knew that they had to be lanolized, because lanolin is what makes wool water repellent. I filled up my kitchen sink with very warm water. I put a 1/2 tsp. of lanolin (good old Lansinoh for sore nipples) and a 1/2 tsp. of baby wash into a squeeze bottle. I added very hot water and shook it until all of the lanolin was dissolved. I added the lanolin mixture to the water in the sink and then added the soakers. I let the soakers sit in the sink for half an hour, adding warm water and swishing them around to make sure that they were saturated. I then drained the sink and gently squeezed out the excess water from the soakers. I layed them flat on a towel and then rolled and squeezed them in it. They're air drying now, and I can't wait to try them out.

My hands are super soft from the lanolized water, and now I want to bathe in it.

Currently I'm sewing some fleece soakers (same site for the pattern) and I'll also be converting some of my prefolds into fitted diapers. I'll be sure to post pictures of those projects as soon as they're completed.

The Simple Life

2011-05-14T00:10:00.023-05:00

I'm still alive. I've been hard at work, nursing and changing diapers and being spit up on, and kissing squishy baby cheeks, and facilitating the learning of history, and and and, and attending the Wisconsin Parent's Association homeschooling conference.

This was my second year, and it was even better than last. I'll write in more detail soon, but for now I wanted to talk about the Living Simply workshop that I attended on the first night of the conference.

Rick and I have been in the process of paring down our lives to the essentials for the last few years. I have always been a person who enjoyed paring down and getting rid of clutter, but being in dire financial straights (things are finally improving) certainly lights a fire under one's de-cluttering ass.

The woman who led the workshop opened with a quote, which I will misquote for you. It went something like, you don't get demerits for buying a new pair of shoes and you don't win bonus points for planting a garden. I wanted to throw that in there because I don't want to come off preachy and holier-than-thou when I talk about how I've simplified my life. It's a lifestyle choice, and it is what works for me, and what gives me peace. If a pair of designer shoes works for you and gives you peace, that is totally fine by me. Not that my opinion should stop you from buying a pair of designer shoes. Just keep in mind that the value of stuff or things or crap, or whatever you call your possessions, comes from you. Stuff has no inherent value without an owner.

Before beginning our discussion, the workshop presenter also added that simple doesn't always mean easy. Amen to that. Although the choices I have made have certainly simplified my life in many ways, some of them were very difficult to make and execute. As the cliche goes, making the right choice is more difficult than making the wrong choice, or some variation on that theme. So here's what I do to make my life simpler, and sometimes more difficult.

Avoid wasting food. Sounds simple enough, but it often involves some planning ahead. I used to make weekly menus, which really simplified grocery shopping and cooking, and I need to get back to that. However, we still buy almost all of our groceries with meals in mind. That not only cuts down on buying random items that can't really be cooked into a meal, but it also cuts down on throwing food away. we also shop sales and I plan our meals accordingly.
Use every little last bit of everything. I use old t-shirts to make dust clothes, and underwear. I've also used clothes that we no longer wear, or have worn out at the seams, to make clothes for Charlotte or Penelope. I recycle zippers and buttons, and old sheets.
Shop rummage/garage sales and thrift stores. I have found so many great items; tons of clothes, some brand new with tags still attached, books, fabric, sewing patterns, etc. There's nothing more "green" than buying used instead of new. Not only are you saving something from going to the dump, but you're also saving the entire manufacturing process/packaging/etc. of buying something new. However, when you buy something new, you give all sorts of people all sorts of jobs. Hey, I'm just giving you information. Make up your own damned mind.
Minimize your grooming. I'm not talking about switching to a monthly bathing schedule. I love a hot shower, especially when no one is poking their head into the bathroom to tell me that there's a spider on the ceiling or that they have too many boogers or that the dog just threw up or that the babyiscryingandshehasgunkonherandI'mhungryandwhyisitrainingandcanwegotothepark...I'm talking about taking a look at your daily grooming routine and the products that it requires and asking yourself "do I really need all of this shit?" My answer was no. I stopped using hair products a long time ago, too long to remember. I rarely wear make-up, so I finally threw all of mine away. I have also stopped shaving, which not only saves money (no need to buy those obnoxious pink razors) but also gives me a few more minutes to relax in the shower instead of nicking myself with a crappy expensive razor. I use five products on a regular basis, toothpaste, shampoo, conditioner, face wash, and deodorant. Talk about easy.
Make your own cleaning products. We use vinegar, baking soda, and rubbing alcohol to make most of our cleaning solutions. I don't make my own laundry detergent because I've heard mixed reviews about making your own, and I don't want to leave my washer all gunky. We do buy Method toilet bowl cleaner, because the toilet gets pooped in, and we also buy dishwasher detergent and dish soap. You'll be amazed at how much you spend on things like Windex, floor cleaners, and other cleaning products that you use on a daily basis. It's also nice to know that any surfaces that the kids touch are cleaned with things that are non-toxic.
Just say no. This one is really hard. Sometimes we have to de-clutter our personal lives, and remove "toxic" people from it. I really hate that term, but I'm way too tired to come up with something original and witty. When you have someone in your life who makes you sad, angry, anxious, depressed, annoyed, or homicidal, you need to sit down and have a little chat with yourself. Ask, "is this person worth all of the bullshit they put me through?". Sometimes the answer will be yes, and in that case I suggest venting about this person to a close friend, who will keep your horrible secrets. If the answer is no, then do yourself a favor and avoid spending time with that person. You'd be amazed at how much peace of mind and free time you gain (to do more important things, like sewing underwear out of old t-shirts) when you're not dealing with someone else's crap. You deserve better.

OK, so that was not exactly a complete list of everything I do to simplify my life, but that covers a good chunk of it. Now I'm off to bed, which Rick built when our crappy IKEA one broke. Simplifying tip #7, marry someone handy, so that they can build an economical, sturdy, cool looking bed frame, when your cheap, mass produced one breaks.

Don't Be Tardy For The Potty

2011-04-09T15:34:00.001-05:00

Becoming a mom of two was a much easier transition than I expected it to be. Going from childless, to mom of one was much more difficult and daunting. Penelope is a very easy going baby and Charlotte is almost five (shit, I'm tearing up already), and those two factors make life a whole lot easier.

My recovery has been slow. Very slow. The longest stretch I've had without any pain lasted four days, and that was just earlier this week. Things are probably taking longer this time because this was my second c-section. I also found out that I had chorioamnionitis (an infection of the placenta). I'm really glad that I found out after Penelope's birth and not while I was still pregnant, because I would have been completely freaked out. It's pretty rare (1-2% of pregnancies) and can cause serious complications for mom and baby. I had absolutely no symptoms of infection, so there was no way for either of my midwives to know what was going on. It was discovered through a pathology report on my placenta. This was either the reason for my crazy prolonged labor or possibly caused by the prolonged labor itself. There's also a chance that I had a little rupture in the amniotic sac with a very slow leak which lead to infection. regardless of the cause, this makes me feel 100% confident that my c-section was necessary. I'm glad that we got Penelope out when we did, because she was completely healthy and so was I. Catastrophe averted, I kid.

Charlotte still loves being a big sister. She's a wonderful helper. I especially enjoy seeing her talk to, and read to Penelope. It's so sweet. I get all verklempt thinking about it. I hope this sisterly love continues even when Penelope starts getting into Charlotte's stuff. I have a feeling she won't like being a big sister all that much when Penelope starts crawling.

Two weeks ago we started doing elimination communication with Penelope. It's been going really well. She stays dry most nights. I just take her to the bathroom when she wakes up and then I nurse her and put her back down. I've gotten into the habit of singing "don't be tardy for the potty" when I take Penelope to the bathroom. As I tweeted earlier, I'm pretty sure that can be considered child abuse. I've been using sleep gowns and onesies with leggings at home, but I think I'll be making some split crotch pants for her pretty soon. I need more clothing options for when we leave the house.

That's about it. Life is good.

On Guilt, Regret, Disappointment, & Moving On

2011-03-29T11:04:00.000-05:00

I thought I'd throw a picture in first. I know it's blurry, but that face is so sweet. I have no feelings of regret or disappointment about my little girl, my labor and her birth are another story.

I haven't had anyone tell me that it's a shame that I went through 8.5 days of labor, just to end up with a c-section. I also haven't had anyone say that it would have been easier to have simply planned a c-section all along. I'm glad no one has said those things to me. They would have gotten an earfull of swearing and the silent treatment for the rest of their lives. I'm glad that I planned a homebirth. I'm glad that I worked through 8.5 very long, very difficult days of labor. I'm glad that I didn't have a scheduled/planned c-section. Those factors help to mitigate the disappointment and sadness that I feel about Penelope's birth. I know that I made the right decisions, I know that I did what I needed to do, but it still sucks.

In many ways, Penelope's birth was much better than Charlotte's. I had all of the information I needed this time around. I had better support. I know that Penelope's c-section was a necessary one, whereas Charlotte's could have been easily avoided. The anesthesiologist was competent this time around, so my spinal wasn't placed too high, as it was when I had Charlotte (my entire chest was numb and I felt like I was drowning). I knew to demand a double layer closure this time around. I was less daunted by the breastfeeding difficulties we had to work through. I felt more confident in general about becoming a mother again.

There are also factors that made this birth much worse than Charlotte's. I didn't get to hold and spend time with Penelope for almost 3 hours after she was born. She couldn't room with us right away, because she was on oxygen and an IV. My recovery has been much longer and more difficult. I had an asshole doctor. My mother, and the rest of my family, didn't get to spend any time with us after the birth.

I'm not dwelling on the negative, but I have to acknowledge it. It's going to take time for me to come to peace over Penelope's birth. Intellectually, I know that things happened the way they needed to happen, but my heart is going to need some time to get over the loss.

Scones, Scones, Sconey Scone Scones

2011-03-22T19:16:00.000-05:00

I love scones. OK, I love most baked goods, but I really love scones. The problem with scones is that they can be really good, which sets you up for a huge let down when you eat a not so good scone. Most scones are not good, so you'll be disappointed often. In my case, it'll make you stomp you feet, and maybe cry. I'm still hormonal, cut me some slack.

After eating some not so good (possibly semi-nasty) scones from the grocery store, I decided to bake my own. foodgawker has gorgeous looking scones on a regular basis, but I didn't want to use a recipe that would leave me with a dry, cakey, nasty, tear-inducing scone in my mouth. Then, with a suprising spark showing that it had not quit working entirely, my brain said "google America's Test Kitchen Scones. So I did. Duh, winning.

These are good, really good.

Ingredients:

2 cups (10 ounces) unbleached all-purpose flour, preferably a lower-protein brand, such as Gold Medal or Pillsbury

1 Tbsp baking powder

3 Tbsp sugar

1/2 tsp salt

5 Tbsp cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/4-inch cubes

1/2 cup currants*

1 cup heavy cream

Instructions:

1. Adjust an oven rack to the middle position and heat the oven to 425°F (220°C).

2. Place the flour, baking powder, sugar, and salt in a large bowl or the workbowl of a food processor fitted with the metal blade. Whisk together or process with six 1-second pulses.

3. If making by hand, use two knives, a pastry blender, or your fingertips and quickly cut in the butter until the mixture resembles coarse meal with a few slightly larger butter lumps. If using a food processor, remove the cover and distribute the butter evenly over the dry ingredients. Cover and process with twelve 1-second pulses. Add the currants and quickly mix in or pulse one more time. Transfer the dough to a large bowl.

4. Stir in the heavy cream with a rubber spatula or fork until the dough begins to form, about 30 seconds.

5. Transfer the dough and all dry flour bits to a countertop and knead the dough by hand just until it comes together into a rough, slightly sticky ball, 5 to 10 seconds. Press the dough into an 8-inch cake pan, then turn the dough out onto a lightly floured work-surface. With a sharp knife or bench scraper, cut the dough into 8 wedges. Place the wedges on an ungreased baking sheet. (The baking sheet can be wrapped in plastic and refrigerated for up to 2 hours before baking.)

6. Bake until the scone tops are light brown, 12 to 15 minutes. Cool on a wire rack for at least 10 minutes. Serve warm or at room temperature.

*Instead of currants, I used dried cranberries and the zest of one orange. I also made a batch with the zest of one lemon and 2 tbsp. of poppy seeds, and another batch with 2 tsp. instant coffee (mixed with the flour etc.) and 2 tsp. of vanilla and 1/4 c. of 90% dark chocolate cut into bits. My next batch will have candied ginger and chai spices.

Knit Wit

2011-03-21T23:24:00.001-05:00

I was told by my midwife to take it easy and just cruise on the couch. That's not an easy thing for me to do, so I've been knitting. I found all of the patterns on Ravelry, but since you have to have an account (totally free and well worth the few seconds that it takes to set on up) to view the site, I've linked to the original location of the patterns.

Pixie Baby Hat

Baby Bonnet with Ears/Horns

Baby Bubbles Smock, Saartjes Booties, and DROPS Bonnet

Lucille Cardigan and Bonnet

I've also finished Charlotte and Penelope's outfits for the open house that we're having in April. I wrote about the projects here and here a few months ago. The total cost of materials was probably around $15. The denim came from 2 clearance remnant bits, the lining was a donation from my mom (more than 15 years old), the lace was from a skirt I got in 8th grade (I'm almost 34, you do the math). I also used snaps, thread, elastic, hooks, and thrift store zippers, that I already had on hand.

McCall's 5791, a combination of views. The denim is not this dark in real life.

The jacket is View E from Simplicity 3513, and the skirt is McCall's 5461 (discontinued).

God Complex

2011-03-01T23:55:00.001-06:00

Have you seen the movie Malice? It's the one with Alec Baldwin and Nicole Kidman. He's a surgeon who removes her healthy ovaries in a scam to bilk the insurance company. Yeah, I ruined the movie for you, but that's not the point. There's a scene where Alec Baldwin is asked if he has a "god complex". Here's the clip.

I know that there are doctors like this out there. I've heard friends and family members talk about their experiences with them. I've also read all sorts of accounts online from people who have had the misfortune to deal with assholes like this. It's such a common occurrence for women seeking obstetric care, that there's even a website devoted to the insane things doctors like this tell women My OB Said WHAT?!?

Until the 12th of last month, I'd never had to deal with a doctor like that. I'd never met a doctor who treated me like an idiot, or was openly hostile. Unfortunately, when we decided to go to the hospital, we got the on-call OB for my practice. I won't mention her real name, because even though everything you'll read about her here is 100% accurate and true, I'm not taking any chances with getting my ass sued. I will henceforth refer to her as Dr. Seaward (say it out loud). However, if you are looking for an OB in WI, please e-mail me so that I can give you her name. I'd like to save you the misery of having to deal with her.

We were in the room, waiting for the anesthesiologist to show up for my much needed epidural, when Dr. Seaward marched in. I could tell from the look on her face that we were in for a fun night. She told us that the baby's heart rate was dropping after every contraction and that she wanted to put in an internal monitor so that she could see the baby's heat rate more accurately (we were only catching the heart rate after every other contraction, because the external monitor didn't like my moving around).

I started to voice my concerns to her, when she jumped in with "If you're going to refuse everything, why come in to the hospital?" Oh yeah, she went there with me, and less than 10 minutes after introducing herself. I decided to ignore her bullshit and just go ahead with my questions. I was worried about an internal monitor with my GBS positive status, I didn't like the idea of an internal monitor in general, and I was worried about how those monitor reading are interpreted.

She didn't really answer any of my questions, just went into the usual "I've never delivered a baby who had mental retardation due to oxygen deprivation, but I like to err on the side of caution" scare tactics. She then added more scare tactics by telling me that I was "high risk", something that neither my hombirth midwife, my CNM, or the OB that I saw (twice for a VBAC consult, at about 20 weeks and again at 37 weeks) ever mentioned. Maybe they never mentioned it, because I was NOT high risk at any point during my pregnancy. Dr. Seward's reasons for calling me "high risk" were the fact that I'd had a previous c-section (bullshit) and the fact that I'm fat (oh yeah, I'm serious). She said that if she needed to perform a true emergency c-section, she would have a hard time getting the baby out ASAP because of my size. I was going to tell her that if that was the case, then she must be a pretty shitty surgeon, but I didn't want to waste my time and energy arguing with an ignorant asshole.

Dr. Seward did show us the printout of my contractions/baby's heart rate, and I could clearly see the decels after each contraction, so that at least was helpful. We asked her to leave the room so that we could discuss what we wanted to do. We also called our homebirth midwife, and ultimately (this took about 5 minutes, even with Dr. Seward barging in) decided to go ahead with the internal monitor, which is how we found out about the meconium.

Needless to say, Dr. Seward had no problems operating on me, just as my old OB had absolutely no problem operating on me. There was also no issue getting the epidural in, even though that's another scare tactic that OBs like to use with fat women. Let's wave the "I'll have a hard time operating on you/getting your epidural in" crap at the fat lady. If there hadn't been meconium in my water, I would have fired her bitchy ass. She was also pretty smug when she came back to check on me in the hospital. I'm curious to see what she'll be like at my 6 week post partum check-up. Bitch better watch it.

My Scrawny Monkey

2011-02-28T13:54:00.001-06:00

Penelope is just over 2 weeks old. It's hard to believe that it's only been 2 weeks and at the same time it feels like she's been with us forever. Her latch is improving and she's gaining weight really well. I'm glad that the latch issue is improving, because I'm pretty sure that I have thrush, and a crappy latch isn't exactly going to help things. I've got some ointment waiting at the pharmacy for me, and I hope it clears things up. Penelope is sleeping 3-4 hours at a time during the night. I'm getting way more sleep than I thought I would, but it's killing my boobs. I can't wait for my milk production to adjust already. These first few weeks of breastfeeding can really suck, at least I know that it gets much much easier.

Charlotte loves to help us with Penelope and she also loves reading to her. So far she's adjusted really well to being a big sister. I hope it continues. I know that there will be jealousy at some point, probably when Penelope can move around and get into Charlotte's stuff, but so far so good.

I had my first post partum check-up today. I've lost 21 pounds, which seems completely insane, especially since I only gained 5.5 pounds during my pregnancy. I feel like I'm eating everything in sight, but I'm also nursing. It's amazing how hormones can affect your body. I'm also feeling those hormonal changes emotionally. I've been pretty weepy, which isn't something I experienced after Charlotte was born. So far I haven't crossed the line into post partum depression, and I hope it stays that way. I really want to avoid having to take any medications while nursing, but if this turns into PPD, I'll definitely be seeking help. My midwife thinks my scar looks great, and I have to agree. I don't look or feel like I just underwent major abdominal surgery. Not physically anyway.

The top picture is Penelope and the bottom is Charlotte. Charlotte was about a pound lighter at birth.

Penelope Hope

2011-02-15T18:35:00.001-06:00

I had some pretty awful contractions Saturday morning. My midwife came to check me, and there really wasn't anything going on with my cervix. Then the contractions petered out, again. I was in a really bad place emotionally, and just couldn't deal with any of it anymore. My CNM prescribed some muscle relaxers to hopefully get the contractions to stop so that I could get a little sleep, but they really didn't do anything. I got into the birthing tub, hoping that would help, but the contractions were still coming strong, but not close together. After agonizing over things, talking to both my midwives, and talking things over with Rick, we decided to go to the hospital in hopes of getting an epidural to give me a break from the pain and to allow me to get some sleep.

I was getting ready for the epidural when the doctor walked in and said that Miss Muffet was having decels after each contraction. The doctor, I've got a few other names for her, came in and basically demanded to place an internal monitor. She got really agitated when we had some questions and wanted to discuss things. I'll post all about her another time. After talking to each other and our midwife, we decided to go ahead with the internal monitor, which meant that they had to break my water. Once they did that, they realized that there was very thick meconium in the water, and we basically needed to get baby out ASAP.

I was not thrilled to have another c-section. It was the last thing I wanted, but at least this time, unlike Charlotte's c-section, I knew that it was necessary. The surgery itself wasn't as bad as Charlotte's surgery, even though it took a little bit longer. The doctor removed some scar tissue before getting the baby out. The anesthesiologist was great this time around. With C's surgery, they placed my epidural way too high. My arms and chest were completely numb, and I felt like I was drowning. I had a really hard time breathing. This time my arms weren't numb at all, and I didn't throw up after the epidural or during the surgery.

Unfortunately, the meconium was so thick, everyone kept saying that they'd never seen such thick meconium, that they had a bit of a hard time suctioning the baby. It felt like it took forever before she started crying. She had to go to the special care nursery for oxygen and observation and I didn't get to hold her for 3 hours. The longest 3 hours of my life. Once I was able to go to the nursery, we did skin to skin and nursed. It was a little crazy with her oxygen and IV and my IV, but we managed.

Luckily Penelope did much better than everyone expected and she finally got to join us in my room Sunday evening. Since we were both doing well, I asked to be discharged early, and we went home Monday afternoon.

I'm sore, but not in excruciating pain. Breastfeeding is going really well, despite the aggressive suctioning and the long separations that we had those first 24 hours. I was a little worried initially, because Penelope didn't want to latch very well or for very long, but we persevered, and now she's a pro. My milk is already in. It took much longer with Charlotte.

Not much else to write right now. I'm pretty tired, but very happy.

Born 02/12/2011 at 9:21pm. 6lbs. 5oz., 19.5" long.

40 Weeks

2011-02-11T15:30:00.000-06:00

This is what I look like after more than 7 days of contractions. Not too bad. According to the scale at my midwife's office, I have gained a total of 5.5lb to date. That's one huge 5.5lb belly. I had a really good long stretch of intense, closely spaced contractions all through the night and early this morning. My homebirth midwife came over to check me, and I'm at 3cm and 90% effaced. She and Rick set up the tub in our family room, and now it's just waiting for me. My contractions fizzled out around 7am, as usual, but have since picked up a bit. They're not close together, but they are incredibly intense. When I was in labor with C, I already had an epidural when the pain got this intense. I'm handling it much better this time around. It's amazing how much easier it is to deal with when you're at home. Hopefully I'll have an actual baby announcement to post this weekend. Sooner would be much nicer than later.

TMI Update

2011-02-07T17:13:00.000-06:00

The last few days have been rough. That's really putting it mildly. I've been having very strong contractions on and off throughout the day, and they really pick up every night. Basically I've been laboring, more on than off, since Thursday night.

My midwife suggested that I try a chiropractic adjustment to get Miss Muffet to drop, so that her head would press against my cervix and help to get things going. On Saturday, I called one of the moms in my La Leche League group, who also happens to be a chiropractor and lives in my town. She was kind enough to come over and give me an adjustment. I honestly had no idea how tight and uncomfortable my pelvis felt until I had the adjustment. I just felt so freaking great afterward. Everything felt loose and relaxed, and almost 100% of my pubic symphysis pain was gone.

I felt extremely demoralized on Sunday morning. The previous night had been especially bad, and I felt like I was almost at the end of my rope. Luckily, even though I had strong contractions Sunday night, they were far enough apart for me to doze off in between the pains. I felt a million times better this morning. It's amazing how much a little sleep can help.

I had an appointment with my midwife at 10am, and she confirmed what I though. The adjustment had helped Miss Muffet to drop, and her head was now in my pelvis. In fact, when she checked my cervix, she could also feel Miss Muffet's head. I'm also now 80% effaced and 1.5cm dilated. So all of the contracting that I've been doing over the last few days hasn't been worthless. When she pulled her hand out after checking me, my mucus plug followed. It was seriously disgusting. Hey, I put TMI in the title. You were warned. I didn't see my plug with C, but this was a classic plug. A giant glob of green boogers with a little bit of pink thrown in for contrast. NAS-TEE!

I'm hoping that things continue to move along. I want this kid out of me already. Anyone want to take a guess as to when it will happen?

$%&#*@ Update

2011-02-04T20:18:00.000-06:00

I'm back to steadier contractions. They're 6-10 minutes apart now. I'm almost 100% positive that they'll really pick up in a few hours, when I attempt to get some sleep.

Waa waa waa. That's all for now.

#&$*@# 39 Weeks

2011-02-04T15:23:00.001-06:00

Not a happy camper today. Not at all.

I woke up around 2:30am with pretty strong contractions, stronger than the ones that I've been having over the last week. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I decided to work on an editing project that I got earlier in the week. I was able to get quite a bit of work done between the contractions. They were about 10 minutes apart. Over the next few hours, my contractions got much stronger and closer together. By about 8am, they were 6 minutes apart and pretty intense. Jessica came up to help with Charlotte, and at about 11am my midwife arrived as well. By the time she got here, my contractions had petered out somewhat. When she checked my cervix, we got the horrible horrible sucky news. I was barely dilated. Half a centimeter. Half a fucking centimeter. UGH!

Anyway...so here we are. I'm now contracting roughly every 20 minutes, but the contractions are still pretty intense. I have a feeling that things are going to pick up significantly again tonight. I'll keep you updated. Please feel sorry for me. This blows.

Pad Ped

2011-02-02T20:01:00.001-06:00

There's a Thai restaurant in Michigan that I really love, Rexy's Bangkok Cuisine. They have a Pad Ped, made with eggplants, mushrooms, green peppers, and a coconut milk sauce, that is beyond yummy. I had a serious craving for it tonight, so I made some. It isn't 100% the same as theirs, but it's really really good.

Pad Ped

Ingredients;
2 large or 3 medium eggplants, quartered and thinly sliced
1 container of mushrooms, sliced
1/2 a green bell pepper, sliced
1 onion, halved and sliced
minced garlic, to taste
minced ginger, to taste
1-2 tbsp. red curry paste
2 cans light coconut milk
Sriracha, to taste
salt

Saute the onion and garlic until translucent. Add in the ginger and the other veggies and sprinkle with some salt. Saute until most of the liquid from the veggies has evaporated, about 15 minutes. Add the rest of the ingredients and simmer for another 10 minutes. Serve over basmati rice.

Cheesy Potatoes

2011-02-01T09:19:00.000-06:00

I got this recipe from my mother-in-law and made a couple of small changes. This is one of Rick's favorites.

Cheesy Potatoes

Ingredients;
2 small bags of frozen hash browns, the kind with peppers and onions
2 cans of cream of chicken soup
2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
1 bunch of green onions, sliced
2-3 cups of cubed ham
8 oz. sour cream

I usually thaw out the hash browns before making this casserole. Mix everything together and bake in a casserole dish for 40 minutes at 375. How easy is that? This is a really nice brunch or dinner dish, and you can always omit the ham and turn it into a side dish.

38 Weeks

2011-01-29T10:52:00.000-06:00

I'm still pregnant. I'm feeling OK, except for the exhaustion. I'm barely getting any sleep. I get up about 5-6 times a night to pee, and for the last few days I've also been waking up due to really strong contractions. It sucks. I need some sleep.

For The Birds

2011-01-24T14:55:00.000-06:00

I've been doing some serious nesting over the last week or so. The bassinet and changing table are all set up in our bedroom. All of our homebirth supplies have been purchased and are in bins in our family room, where we plan on setting up the tub. Linens and towels have been washed. Midwife gifts have been made. Over the last 3 days I've put about 2 weeks worth of meals in our freezer. Amazingly, there's still room left in there. I also scrubbed the kitchen today. I feel like everything is good to go. Hopefully Miss Muffet will make her appearance soon.

Here's what I put in the freezer;

Broccoli, chicken & rice
Shells stuffed with ricotta & spinach
Chicken & corn soup
Sun-dried tomato penne (I made a few changes to the recipe, and used tuna instead of chicken)

Hamburger & Elbows

1 lb. ground beef (your choice), browned
1 box of elbow pasta, al dente
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
4 stalks of celery, sliced
4 carrots, chopped
1 onion, diced
minced garlic, I use a ton
2 cans of water chestnuts, chopped
2 cans cream of chicken soup

Saute the onion and garlic until translucent, add carrots and celery and saute until just tender. Mix everything together and pour into a casserole dish. You can top this with some breadcrumbs and grated parmesan if you want to. Bake in a 375 oven for about 40 minutes, or until bubbly.

37 Weeks

2011-01-21T16:30:00.001-06:00

I'm so much bigger than I was with Charlotte, but I've only gained about 7 lbs. I feel like I need a crane to roll over in bed.

When The Child Was A Child...It Watched Crappy TV

2011-01-17T14:30:00.000-06:00

I found this book at the thrift store the other day, and I had to buy it. This series of books was the basis for a cartoon that I used to watch when I was a kid. I thought it was an Israeli thing, but the books were originally written in French, which is where the cartoon was created. The book itself is a really lame piece of environmentalist, anti-hunting propaganda, so we're not letting Charlotte read it, but it reminded me of all of the lame TV shows that I watched as a kid. Luckily Youtube has a bunch of clips, so I thought I would share.

This is the opening theme to the Barbapapa cartoon, which was called Barba-aba in Hebrew. Aba means dad.

This is from the show Ma Pit'om. The character is called Kishkashta. Click the link. It's pretty amazing just how little TV I had growing up. How did I ever manage?

This was the theme from a Japanese cartoon, which was called The Heart in Israel. It was huge. The cartoon is about a boy named Marco who travels from Italy to Brazil in search of his mother. Seriously, what sort of fucked up shit is that? He's always one step behind, always just missing her. The best thing about this show was that whenever it came on my dad would start crying. I'm not talking about getting teary eyed, I'm talking boohoohooing, nose running, hard core crying. It would always crack us up.

Here are a few more that I liked.

Maya the Bee

In the Land of the Littles

The Smurfs

There were also 2 cartoons that aired in Arabic with Hebrew subtitles. Superbook, and The Flying House. Nothing like a little religious propaganda for the kids.

Ahhhhhhhh

2011-01-12T10:27:00.000-06:00

OK, so I might officially be freaking out about how little time we have left before the baby makes her debut. I started making a "to do" list, and now I'm spazzing out. Nothing on the list is major, or requires a ton of time or even effort, but that's not making much of a difference right now. So here's what I want to do. Keep me focused people.

Finish C's coat and hat
Hem, adjust the living room curtains
Install the baby's car seat
Set up baby changing station in our room
Finalize a birth plan in case I need to deliver in the hospital
Finish purchasing our homebirth supplies
Make gifts for my midwives
Make a special outfit for the baby's open house

I'm sure that I'm forgetting something, and obviously some of the things on the list aren't exactly pressing, but still. I'm neurotic. I need control.

Pregnancy Update

2011-01-10T17:09:00.000-06:00

Firstly, let me admit that I do indeed suck and am obviously a horrible person for not keeping my blogging promises to you. I hope that you'll forgive me.

Other than killer fatigue, I've been feeling fairly well over the last couple of weeks. I can't believe that Miss Muffet will be here in just a few weeks. She's still head down, but hasn't dropped.

We had a little scare the other day. She must have been turned around, because I couldn't feel her kicking and had to go to L&D. They found her heartbeat right away and even picked up some movement, but I still couldn't feel her at all. After about 15 minutes she turned herself around and now I can feel her again.

I'm still throwing up, and I get up 5-6 times a night to pee, but I don't have pubic symphysis pain with this pregnancy the way I did with Charlotte. It really hasn't been too bad. My sciatica pain is completely gone, and hopefully it won't come back. Even my water retention isn't as bad as it was with Charlotte. Although my calves look and feel as though they're made of Silly Putty, I haven't entered cankle territory yet.

I'm surprisingly calm about Miss Muffet's impending arrival. My mom thinks it's because it still hasn't really hasn't hit me yet. I don't know. Most of our homebirth supplies have been purchased. We just need to buy a few more things, diapers and wipes, a hose for the birthing tub, nothing exotic. I'm really excited that Charlotte will get to see her sister being born, and that she's old enough to understand and remember it.

I'm A Winner!

2010-12-26T14:05:00.000-06:00

I won a copy of Mary Abreu's Little Girls Big Style from Sew, Mama, Sew! Charlotte looked through the book and requested one of each outfit. She loves ruffles.

I won this fabulous fat quarter bundle from Elaine's Crafty Corner as part of Sew, Mama, Sew!'s giveaway day. Elaine's shop can be found here. I'm not sure if I'm going to use these for a quilt, or for clothes. The bird print is my favorite.

Rugelach, Nom Nom

2010-12-20T18:23:00.000-06:00

Nope, these are not the rugelach I made. It was way too cloudy for picture taking in our end of the world.

I finally made some rugelach. They've always been one of my favorite cookies, and I'm not a huge cookie fan. They're a traditional Jewish pastry, apparently served during Hanukkah (I learned something new), made from a buttery cream cheese dough, and a variety of fillings.

For my rugelach, I combined Joan Nathan's recipe with Ina Garten's recipe, and omgsoyummy. I made the dough yesterday, according to Ina's recipe, because her recipe included sugar. I let the dough rest in the fridge overnight (translation; I was way too damn lazy to actually bake these yesterday).

Since the recipe makes four batches (12 cookies each), I used different fillings (this is where Joan Nathan's recipe comes in). I made two batches with apricot jam and walnuts, a batch with strawberry jam and walnuts, and a cinnamon/brown sugar batch for Rick. Rick hates fruit. Yeah, I know, WTF is up with that?

They're not the prettiest rugelach that I've ever seen, but they are soooooo tasty. They're tender and buttery, and not too sweet. Now I just have to restrain myself from devouring all of them in one sitting. It'll be hard. Really hard.

Pregnancy Update

2010-12-16T20:19:00.000-06:00

I technically have less than 2 months to go. Pretty amazing. I still have days when I don't really feel pregnant. It still seems surreal to me. I saw my homebirth midwife today, and miss muffet is officially head down. Yay. She's kicking my lungs and digging around in my lady parts. Charlotte stuffed her dog Buddy under her shirt and asked my midwife to measure her tummy and listen to her baby with the fetoscope. It was really cute.

There isn't much else to report. I have a little post brewing about losing our electricity last weekend and the great power outage of 2003. I'll probably post it tomorrow.

Holiday Goodies

2010-12-13T21:48:00.001-06:00

I made some fudge about a week ago. It was really really good. I'd never made fudge before, and I wanted a recipe that didn't call for a candy thermometer. Those types of recipes scare the crap out of me. It's a completely irrational fear of burning myself with molten hot sugar goo. Hey, I admitted that it was irrational.

I used this recipe for the fudge. I know that it's from the evil Nestle corporation, but you can make it without purchasing any Nestle brand products, so it's a win win. I'm going to try the recipe with white chips, peppermint extract, and peppermint bits next time.

I also baked some glazed chai shortbread cookies using this recipe (thanks Kristin). They're so yummy, not too sweet, and perfectly buttery. They'll go great with a mug of coffee or tea. I've been obsessed with finding new recipes lately, even though I don't really have an appetite for anything. Feel free to throw some recipes my way. I want to know what you're cooking/baking.

All Good Things...

2010-12-08T17:02:00.002-06:00

...Must come to an end. Tonight is the last night of Hanukkah and Charlotte is very sad about having to wait another year to light candles. I made latkes last night, using my usual recipe. I also sang the first verse of I Am A Latke, and then realized that I forgot to add an onion to the mix. Oh the lame things I remember from my days as a Hebrew teacher. How do they lyrics manage to stay in my head, when so much other stuff seems to just leak out, never to be remembered again?

Anyway...I have avoided hearing about the War on CHRISTmas (tm) because I no longer watch the news. Apparently it's going on again this year, which is why the streets are decorated with menorahs, and songs about latkes and dreidels can be heard 24 hours on the radio. Oh wait, that's not the case? Hmmm.

I reviewed my favorite/most hated Christmas song lists from last year, and I still stand by my choices. My favorite is still, and will always be, Christmastime for the Jews.

I Love Puppets

2010-12-06T15:21:00.000-06:00

I really love weird and inappropriate puppet behavior.BTW...this is not safe for work.

Chappelle Show- Kneehigh Park - watch more funny videos

From the brilliant Dave Chapelle.

From Avenue Q, which I hope to see some day.

From Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I couldn't find the clip from the end of the movie with the actual puppet show.

There's also Greg the Bunny, which you should absolutely get from Netflix. You'll laugh out loud.

Pregnancy Update

2010-12-06T10:43:00.001-06:00

Remember how I was saying that I've gained about 10 lbs. so far? Well, I was wrong. I have gained exactly nothing. My weight today was the same as it was when I had my first prenatal appointment in June. Baby is growing, so there's nothing to worry about. The lack of weight gain is probably due to all of the vomiting I've been doing (none for almost 2 weeks! YAY!) and my lack of appetite. I guess I'm going to end up really losing weight when this baby is born.

My BP was pretty high today even though it's been perfectly normal at home. My MW ordered some blood work just to be on the safe side, and I get to do a 24 hour urine. That means that I collect my pee for 24 hours and keep it in a jug in the fridge. How gross is that? I feel pretty good though. I'm just a little tired. Can't complain too much today.

Update 12:57pm-Blood work is completely normal and so was the BP I just took.

Success!

2010-11-30T19:48:00.000-06:00

Despite my ongoing pregnancy woes, and getting a really nasty cold, I managed to post every single day this month. I'm really proud of myself. I'm going to do my best to continue posting regularly. I can't promise a new post every day, but I'm going to aim for a new post every other day. Congrats to all other NaBloPoMo completers, is that a word?

All Sorts Of Crazy

2010-11-29T21:11:00.000-06:00

I will readily admit that I love trash TV. I especially love The Real Housewives on Bravo, but as a purist I only enjoy the O.C., New York, New Jersey, and Atlanta shows. D.C. and Beverly Hills are unwatchably boring and pretentious.

I'm really enjoying this season of the Atlanta housewives, mostly because of newcomer Phaedra Parks. She's not just a traffic accident, she's a 20 care pile-up with explosions. Parks is a lawyer, but every time she mentions that fact I immediately think of Tracy Morgan's Star Jones impersonation.

Bring on the hate mail people, because I think that she's dumber than a box or rocks, or maybe even dumber than a box of lady fingers filled with barbarian cream.

This entire season, Phaedra claimed ignorance whenever someone asked her when she was due, or how far along she was in her pregnancy. She then started telling the other housewives that her doctor was going to induce her at 32 weeks because her baby was already weighing in at 8 lbs. Mmmmmhmmm. She also claimed that her husband was born 3 months early, weighing 9 lbs. Mmmmkay. Anywhoo...none of the other housewives were buying Phaedra's story. Even when she checked into the hospital, Phaedra still claimed she didn't know her due date saying "I don't keep up with that". WTF!? I don't know any pregnant woman who doesn't know how far along she is. The mystery finally unraveled when we learned that Phaedra's mom is a minister, and staunchly against premarital sex (i.e. the kind of sex that Phaedra had). The doctor then walks in and informs everyone, much to Phaedra's horror, that the baby is not at all early, but is full term. Gotcha.

As if the prenatal shenanigans weren't asinine enough, we're treated to some more in the delivery room. Upon seeing her child for the very first time, Phaedra reacts with "Oh gross". She then asks "What's wrong with his eyes", and says that he looks Chinese to her. Who does that? She shows no emotion, no excitement, no teary eyes (don't want to ruin the multiple layers of make-up), nothing. She's dumb and heartless. What a combo.

After she comes home, she forces her husband to carry her up and down the stairs and claims that she isn't allowed to lift her son because she had a c-section. Uh, no honey, that's not how it works. I had a c-section, and although the recovery is painful, there's no reason why you can't pick up your newborn.

I can't stand Phaedra, but at the same time, she has made this season of Atlanta Housewives so much fun. Now that Kim is pregnant, things should really get interesting. I especially enjoyed the irony of Kim's pregnancy (by her very new boyfriend), in light of her $3000 virginity ring purchase for her daughter. Nothing like leading by example.

So Tired

2010-11-28T22:24:00.000-06:00

I was going to blog about Real Housewives of Atlanta tonight, but I am seriously wiped out. I though that today would be relaxing, but it was stressful both physically and emotionally, and I'm just ready to curl up in bed. Charlotte has been pretty good about going to bed over the last week or so, and I'm hoping that it'll be a continuing trend. I'm looking forward to a nice, stress-free week. I need some boredom for a change.

Home

2010-11-27T19:34:00.002-06:00

I miss my family already, but it sure feels good to be home. The trip did not agree with me at all. I'm exhausted and crabby, and totally ready to crash for at least 12 hours. Miss muffet kicked me in the bladder and crotch for most of the drive and since I couldn't really stretch and try and get her to change positions, it made for a really uncomfortable drive. At least Linus was quiet in his carrier. I was happy to keep him off of my lap.

The transition from MI to IN is pretty remarkable. Everything in MI seems to have a dingy, gray coating of misery on it. Everything just looks gross and depressing. Things looked much more cheery as soon as we got into IN. Maybe it's the lack of sunshine in MI. I don't really know.

In Jackson county, we passed 4 billboards for "Asian health spas". I'm pretty sure that "Asian health spa" is a euphemism for happy ending store. I guess the zoning laws, and residents create a hospitable environment for businesses that seek to relieve your highway "stress".

I'm looking forward to relaxing tomorrow. It'll be nice to have an extra vacation day with Rick and Charlotte.

Tangled

2010-11-26T22:07:00.000-06:00

Rick, Charlotte, my mother, and I went to see Tangled in 3D today. It was the first 3D movie during which Charlotte kept her 3D glasses on. She loved it, and so did we. It was sweet, funny, had fun musical numbers, and the animation was fantastic. It had a few somewhat scary scenes, but nothing too intense. I highly recommend it. Charlotte is really excited to see it again in WI.

Woo Hoo Wine

2010-11-25T20:59:00.000-06:00

We had a really nice Thanksgiving dinner. The turkey turned out juicy and flavorful. The stuffing was succulent, and my mom's friend made the best apple cake that I've ever eaten in my entire life. Charlotte even said it was the best cake she ever ate. I asked for the recipe. I also had a lovely glass of chardonnay with my dinner, and miss muffet either enjoyed it, or was trying to escape her alcohol marinade.

Tomorrow's plans include seeing the movie Tangled in 3D, although Charlotte never wears the glasses, and then getting together for lunch with my grandparents and other family members. I might even try and hit the post-Thanksgiving sale at Joann's.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I hope that your family was enjoyable, and not crazy-making. I hope your dinner was delicious. I hope that if you're crazy enough to go shopping tomorrow, you get some good deals. Happy Thanksgiving.

Pregnancy & Asshats Don't Mix. The More You Know...

2010-11-24T20:14:00.002-06:00

I'm not one to complain (hardy har har), but every time I visit MI I'm reminded of how friendly and pleasant people are in WI. Not that there aren't pleasant people in MI, or assholes in WI, but it certainly feels like there are way more dillweeds, asshats, douche canoes, tools, and general morons in MI than there are in WI. Maybe it's just West Bloomfield, where the financially comfortable like to make their sense of entitlement well known, and have a "fuck you" attitude in general. I don't really know, but it's annoying as hell.

We went out to eat tonight as a local restaurant called the Honey Tree. Don't go there. Ever. It was relatively busy, and there were several groups of people waiting to be seated. I waited my turn, and when the host asked who was next, I stepped up and let him know how many people we had in our party. I barely had a chance to let him know that I needed a table for 4, when a woman pushed in front of me and started talking to the host. When I asked her if I could finish my sentence she gave me a dirty look. Later on, my mother got cut off by a man (the husband of the pushy woman), when she was trying to pay the bill. He apparently felt that he could just cut in front of her. She then got bitched out by some old hag who was also waiting in line. We somehow made it to the car without punching anyone or dropping any "f" bombs, but then we had to deal with the morons in the parking lot.

What is it with people here? No one seems to know how to drive. A perfect example of this general lack of sense in regard to driving, is a story my brother told me about his time working as a bagger at a local grocery store. When going out to the parking lot to collect the carts, he would often see people attempting to park in the cart corral. I think that pretty much says it all. Anyway...now I'm ready for a stiff drink, which in my case would be some decaffeinated tea. I'm hoping that tomorrow is relaxing.

Blah, Blah, Blah...Werewolf Bar-Mitzvah

2010-11-23T19:48:00.000-06:00

I got a voicemail this afternoon from the nurse in my midwife's office. She told me that my test results were in (glucose tolerance, blood count, enzymes) and that I should call the triage nurse to get them. I immediately had a mini freak out, because they've never asked me to call in for results, they would just leave a message saying that everything was normal. I called back and had to leave a message, and then didn't hear back from the nurse for an hour and a half. For a hypochondriac like me, who is prone to anxiety (understatement), that was a very long time to wait. I had nothing to worry about. Everything came back normal, not that there was really any reason to believe that it wouldn't. I'm really glad that I don't have to deal with the 3 hour glucose tolerance test. That has got to blow, and I feel sorry for anyone who has gone through it.

I hate to leave you with just a lame update, so I'll give you the gift of Tracy Morgan on 30 Rock.

Pregnancy Update

2010-11-22T12:02:00.001-06:00

I had my 28 week appointment this morning. I stopped by the lab first to prep for my glucose tolerance test. They let me eat jelly beans instead of drinking that nasty, orange flavored glucola. Eating 19 giant jelly beans at 9am wasn't fun, but I know that drinking that orange crud would have been a million times worse, and it probably would have come right back up.

My total weight gain is still hovering at about 10 lbs. I guess I'm not too surprised by that, especially after a week of extra vomiting and a clogged head. I'm hoping that Thanksgiving will bump that weight gain up a bit. I'm planning on eating my weight in stuffing. Realistically, considering that my stomach is shoved up against my lungs, I'll probably manage 3-4 bites. I'll just have to graze all day. I'm looking forward to having a few days to relax, eat yummy food, and enjoy spending time with my family.

Deviled Eggs

2010-11-21T18:15:00.000-06:00

I finally got around to making a batch tonight. It was actually the only productive thing I did all day, because my cold is still kicking my butt pretty hard. Deviled eggs gross Rick out even more than my potato salad. That's really saying a lot, but I love them. I don't really follow a recipe, but here are some general instructions.

Ingredients;

hard boiled eggs (the Sara Moulton way)
chopped capers, pickles, or olives
mayo (Hellmann's is the only mayo allowed in our house)
mustard
hot sauce (preferably Sriracha)
salt
pepper

Halve the eggs and put yolks into a mixing bowl. Mash yolks well with a fork. Add all other ingredients to the yolks to taste, you can also throw in some freshly chopped parsley. You can really season these with whatever flavors float your boat. Put yolk mixture into a plastic bag and cut off the tip of one corner (or you can be all fancy and use a piping bag). Pipe into whites, gross your husband out while making mmmmm noises and eating the whole batch.

Breakfast For Dinner

2010-11-20T18:57:00.000-06:00

I like making eggs for dinner. In Israel, like most other countries, the heavier meal is eaten at midday, and dinner is a much lighter meal. Eggs are a very common component of dinner in Israel. Tonight I made scrambled eggs with onions and green peppers, roasted potato wedges, and Cheddar bay Biscuits. Yep, those Red Lobster biscuits that are laced with crack, so you end up eating at least a dozen of them. The biscuit recipe comes from one of those Top Secret recipe books, and although it's not 100% the same, it's very very close.

Cheddar Bay Biscuits

Ingredients;
2 1/2 c. Bisquick baking mix
4 tbsp. cold butter
3/4 c. whole milk
1/4 tsp. garlic powder
1 heaping c. shredded cheddar cheese

Topping;
2 tbsp. butter
1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/4 tsp. parsley flakes
pinch of salt

Preheat oven to 400. Cut butter into baking mix with a fork so that butter is in small pieces. Add cheese and garlic powder and mix. Add milk and mix just until batter comes together. Don't over mix. Spoon batter onto parchment lined baking sheet (12 biscuits total) and bake for about 15 minutes, until slightly golden brown. Melt topping ingredients together and brush over top of cooked biscuits. Try to share.

28 Weeks In

2010-11-19T22:16:00.001-06:00

I can hardly believe that I'm already 28 weeks into this pregnancy. It's nice knowing that I'm almost 75% done, especially with all of the throwing up that I've been doing. This pregnancy has been much different than my pregnancy with Charlotte. I'm hoping that this labor and birth will be very different as well. I don't have any interesting updates. I'm still pretty sick.

I'll be picking up the 5th Sookie Stackhouse book tomorrow. I've been eating through them pretty quickly. They really are fun reads. Sometimes you need a little brain candy.

Hopefully I'll have some new project pictures posted tomorrow.

Not Much To Say

2010-11-18T18:44:00.000-06:00

I'm still very sick. I actually sent Rick to the store to buy some Poise pads for me, because I'm coughing so hard that it's making me pee my pants. So much fun. I only threw up once today, so far, so things are going better than they did yesterday. I also did get a little bit of sewing done on Charlotte's jacket. It doesn't look like much yet, so it wasn't worth photographing. There really isn't too much else to tell. I've just been trying to take it easy and let my body heal. I'm really hoping to kick this thing before Thanksgiving.

Mini Book Review & Skirt Update

2010-11-17T19:31:00.000-06:00

I felt well enough today to get some sewing done. I put together the skirt for Charlotte's special outfit. It's view C from McCall's 5461. A warning for anyone who is planning on using this pattern, the measurements for the skirt are way off. I'm confident that I can rule out human error, as I am well versed in reading/cutting/sewing a garment from a pattern. This was a lot bigger than it should have been according to the envelope. I added some elastic to the back to take it in enough so that it fit correctly.

I'll be working on the jacket tonight, and hopefully will have some pictures to post tomorrow.

I'm not a huge fan of pattern books. Not just sewing books, but any pattern books (knitting, crocheting, embroidery). There are very few books out there that are really worth purchasing. Often, you only make one or two patterns, or the patterns are so simple that you could whip something up yourself, or the author simply used interesting fabric or yarn to make a lame pattern look cool.

I never buy a book sight unseen, or from a review by another person. Luckily, you can find just about any patten book in a big box book store and make a more informed decision. If you only like one or two patterns, you can always check the book out from the library and make a copy for yourself. It's also a great way to test the quality of a pattern before committing to a $24 purchase.

I recently checked out Carefree Clothes for Girls from our library network. I'd read some good reviews of the book, and wanted to check out some Japanese style sewing patterns. Well...let me cut to the chase, don't waste your money. The patterns in this book are very simple. Simple enough that even a newer seamstress could create the styles without a pattern. They are also extremely similar to one another, and are basically just variations on a few shapes. These pattern shapes can easily be found commercially through the standard pattern companies found at craft stores, and can be adapted to fit your needs. The other issue with the book is that the clothes look like depression era rags. A little frayed edge here, a little doily there, some dirty looking gray fabric, and your kid looks like an extra in Annie. Not my idea of cute.

Voila! My Stump!

2010-11-16T18:48:00.000-06:00

I had another uber crappy day today. At least Charlotte's behavior was more manageable. I'm still not getting a whole lot of sleep because of my coughing and congestion. I've also been throwing up more than usual because of all of the coughing. We're talking hard core, gut wrenching puking. My abdomen is really sore from the combination of coughing and hurling. My left arm feels bruised to hell because of the tetanus booster that I got yesterday, and my thumb is throbbing like a mofo. Hooray, another bitchy post. I am truly enjoying my Sookie Stackhouse books. I'm almost finished with book #3, and I have book #4 on CD ready to go. Hopefully I'll get some sewing done tomorrow, so that I can post some updates on Charlotte's fancy outfit. If you want to see my thumb stump, the pics are after the jump.

It looks much worse in person, especially when it's all pruny and white after a shower. I still feel like a complete idiot for cutting myself.

In Which I Complain, As Usual

2010-11-15T18:53:00.003-06:00

I had a really bad day today. I woke up feeling miserable because of my massive head cold. I'm also running on very little sleep (almost a week now). I tried the change the dressing on my thumb stump and it started bleeding non-stop, so I decided to go to the walk-in clinic. Apparently it's OK for my stump to bleed profusely every time I rip the scab off with the band-aid. Good to know. I did get a Tetanus booster, but only after some back and forth about the combo boosters and their safety during pregnancy. I finally called my CNM's office to double check.

After lunch we left the house to see my midwife for a prenatal appointment. The asshats next door were burning something made of plastic in their back yard, and there was a huge cloud of thick smoke everywhere, not to mention the lovely stench that accompanies burning toxins. I should have called the cops on them, again, but I just wanted to get on the road.

Baby is looking good, and despite my nausea and vomiting, I managed to gain 5 lbs. My blood pressure on the other hand, might be turning into a problem. It didn't help that Charlotte was driving me crazy the whole time. She never stops talking. NEVER! When it was time to leave she threw such a forceful tantrum that I had to physically carry her to the car, after chasing her around the front yard, and then hold her down (kicking and screaming) while I buckled her in. She yelled the whole way home and then refused to get out of the car. Once again, kicking and screaming, I had to carry her into the house and somehow wrangle her into her room, where she pissed and moaned for what should have been her nap time.

I'm physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. I want to run away from home. I'm having one of those days when I wonder why the fuck I wanted kids in the first place. Being a mom can suck serious ass. Tomorrow better be good, dammit.

What A Thrill-My Thumb Instead Of An Onion

2010-11-14T18:57:00.003-06:00

Actually, it was my thumb instead of a lime. Much, much worse. I took a good chunk off too. I'm pretty sure that a thumb isn't supposed to have a flat spot. I managed to stop the bleeding, so no emergency room trip was needed. I'm not sure what they would have done for me, maybe put some glue on my thumb. There wasn't really anything to stitch.

I'm glad that I'm not squeamish, because my thumb, both what was attached and what I chopped off, looked really really gross. I made sure to wash away the tip into the sink, because I knew that it would freak Rick out to see it on the knife. I'm pretty sure that this is going to leave a permanent scar. At least I'll have an interesting left thumb print. There is a downside though, from now I'll be texting with a lisp.

BTW...how defective is it that a Sylvia Plath poem is the first thing that pops into my head after I slice off a chunk of myself?

Current Project

2010-11-13T17:49:00.004-06:00

I'm currently working on a special outfit for Charlotte to wear when we have our open house after the baby is born. I'm sewing jacket view E from Simplicity 3513, skirt view C from McCall's 5461, and making a peasant style top (probably long sleeved) from my own pattern. Here are the fabrics that I'm using.

The dark denim (remnant bin) is for the jacket and the skirt yoke. The creamy fabric on the right (ancient fabric from my mom) is for the peasant top and the underlay of the skirt, and the lace (from a skirt I had in 8th grade, yes I'm totally serious) is for the overlay of the skirt. I'm really excited about this project. I've saved this lace for 20 years and finally decided on a project for it. I just hope that Charlotte will like it. I love sewing for her.

More Sewing

2010-11-12T20:51:00.004-06:00

I thought I'd share some pictures of two more sewing projects.

I used this tutorial to make a diaper stacker. I made a few adjustments to the size of the pieces because I wanted the stacker to fit my hanger snugly. The hanger is from IKEA, the solid green fabric was leftover from Charlotte's Tinker Bell costume, and the flower fabric is from a vintage sheet.

I also finished the Avalon jacket from Sewing Clothes Kids Love. While this book has some unique patterns, it's definitely not a book for beginners. Both fabrics came from IKEA's clearance bin and totalled $4. I need to decide on some closures. I'm leaning toward some solid black snaps.

Fried Potatoes

2010-11-11T20:33:00.003-06:00

I don't have the flu, but I do have a nasty head cold/sore throat thing going, so I haven't exactly felt great today. I did manage to make a batch of my favorite oatmeal cookies. I added butterscotch chips and pecans to this batch, and Charlotte and Rick loved them. I also made myself some fried potatoes.

I'm not sure if this is a family recipe (on Rick's side) or a regional thing, but these are some yummy potatoes. They're really easy to make and 3 of the 4 ingredients are pantry staples.

Fried Potatoes

Ingredients;
thinly sliced potatoes
vegetable oil
salt
Montreal Steak Seasoning

I slice my potatoes by hand, about 1/8-1/6" thick. The food processor blade slices them too thickly, but an adjustable mandolin would be perfect.

Pour about 2 tbsp. of oil into a large skillet and heat. Spread the potatoes over the oil evenly. Let potatoes cook for 1-2 minutes and then toss. Continue cooking the potatoes for 1-2 minutes at a time, between tossing. Add salt and seasoning to taste about 10 minutes into the frying. Overall cooking time will depend on how thinly you slice the potatoes and how loaded your skillet it. It take me about 20 minutes all together.

Blech

2010-11-10T17:42:00.002-06:00

I haven't been feeling well today, and I'm really feeling crappy right now. I think I might be coming down with a bad cold or the flu. Yay. Obviously I'm not going to be writing a whole lot tonight.

Here are a few things that might interest you.

Rick is growing a mustache again for Movember.

The Pioneer Woman is gearing up for Thanksgiving, and she always has the best recipes.

Sew, Mama, Sew! has started a new season of Handmade Holidays.

OK, that's all for today. I'm hoping that whatever this sore throat-fatigue-chills-general shittiness is, will be gone by morning. I'll be spending this evening curled up on the couch or in bed.

Certified Big Sister

2010-11-09T20:09:00.004-06:00

Rick and I took Charlotte to a sibling class at the hospital. We thought that it would be fun for her, but I wasn't really sure what to expect. I was not thrilled to see a bottle of formula on the table with all the other baby paraphernalia, but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

We watched a short movie, geared toward kids, that talks about what it's like to have a new baby in the house. There was actually a lot of footage of breastfeeding, awesome, but then the narrator said "some babies eat formula, which is just like breastmilk, but made by scientists", um...whatevs.

Charlotte got a cloth baby, on which she drew a face, bellybutton, and nails. She then learned to diaper and swaddle it. She's super excited about her new baby, still not too thrilled about the actual baby. When the instructor started talking about what mom and baby will go through at the hospital I was reminded just how much I want to avoid a hospital this time around, and I felt even more confident of that when we got a tour of the actual room. It just seems so unnatural to have your baby cared for by strangers, warmed under lights, given shots and eye gunk. Even if I do end up in the hospital (crossing all finger and toes that I don't) we're opting out of all of that crap.

Overall, I think that Charlotte had fun. She got really worried when the instructor talked about how mom was going to stay in the hospital for a couple of days, but I reassured her that unless I was sick or the baby was sick, we would all be at home together. I'm hoping that her presence at the birth will help her feel more connected to the whole process and to the baby of course. I'm really looking forward to this birth being a special event for all three (four) of us.

We Don't Need Another Baby

2010-11-08T18:06:00.003-06:00

That's what Charlotte keeps telling us. She's not too happy about being a big sister any more. We've tried reading books to her, talking to her, reassuring her, but she's still pretty upset, and at least once a week she throws a total meltdown tantrum at bedtime.

We're going to a sibling class at the hospital tomorrow, and I hope that helps her feel more positive about getting a little sister. I'm pretty much at the end of my rope. The tantrums are killing me. I know that she'll get used to things once the baby is born, but how are we supposed to keep our sanity until then?

On a positive note, Charlotte's reading is improving every day. I really love Hooked on Phonics.

Fancy Princess

2010-11-07T16:48:00.005-06:00

Charlotte wanted to be a princess for Halloween. We picked out a pattern and the fabrics together. I'm really happy with the way it turned out. I'll have to take some pictures in natural light, so that you can see what the fabrics really look like. I wanted to get nice fabrics for her costume, because I knew that she would be using it for dress-up, and good quality fabrics look so much nicer than the cheap seasonal stuff. Shopping early, and with coupons, the materials for the costume cost less than $20. I used McCall's 5954 for the dress. I made it a little big so that we could layer other clothes underneath. I also hemmed it on the high side, so that Charlotte wouldn't trip on it while trick-or-treating. This will allow me to let out the hem for longer wear as a dress-up item. I didn't use a pattern for the hat. I just covered some poster board in leftover fabric. Shaped it into a cone, added tulle, and elastic, and finished it off with some bias tape.

This is a close up of the vintage metallic ribbon I used to trim the costume.

Hooked On Muffins & Phonics

2010-11-06T19:37:00.005-05:00

As I mentioned a few days ago, I'm still battling nausea. Luckily it's mostly reserved for the morning hours. It's been really hard for me to eat breakfast, and baked goods seem to be the easiest to get down and keep down, so I decided to make some muffins. I made some pumpkin muffins from a recipe that got really good reviews online. They sucked. They were rubbery and spongy and just gross. They also turned me off pumpkin muffins for now, so I decided to make some banana muffins instead. I wanted a recipe that had oatmeal in it, and I found this one. This is the perfect banana muffin recipe. The muffins are dense, chewy, moist, and not too sweet. I made a few small changes to the recipe. I used brown sugar instead of white, a third banana instead of milk, and I added cinnamon and nutmeg. I'm so happy to have something I can eat for breakfast.

As for the phonics, on the advice of another homeschooling mom, I checked out Hooked on Phonics from our library. Over the last 18 months, I had tried to interest Charlotte in reading, but she wasn't really into it, and didn't have a long enough attention span. Over the last couple of months, she started asking when she would know how to read all of her books by herself. Since the opportunity presented itself, I decided to give Hooked on Phonics a try. We've been spending about 10-15 minutes a day, for the last 3 weeks, and Charlotte has become a reader. It's amazing how quickly she's been able to pick it up. That's the beauty of waiting until a child is ready to learn. I love homeschooling. She's really excited to be close to finishing Kit #1 and moving on to Kit #2, and reading her BOB books all by herself makes her so happy.

Sewing For Baby

2010-11-05T21:46:00.009-05:00

I finally got around to taking some pictures of some of my baby sewing.

I made onesies, using McCall's 6103, out of some old t-shirts and a baby blanket.

This was an old long sleeved T that Rick gave me a while ago. The patch on the arm is actually the tag from the inside of the shirt. I used leftover bits from another t-shirt for the binding.

I highly recommend buying elastics online. You can find a great selection of styles and colors, and it's much cheaper than buying it in a brick and mortar store.

This, and the next two tops, are just peasant style tops that I made using my own pattern. This blue and white fabric was a vintage thrift store find. The pants are made out of old T-shirt sleeves.

I tie-dyed this fabric myself.

This adorable zebra fabric was in a huge box that I got from a friend of a friend. Gotta love free fabric.

I used this tutorial for the kimono top. The pants are made from old sweater sleeves.

I used this tutorial for the little dress. The orange fabric came from an old maternity top, and the flower from a vintage sheet.

I made these leg warmers out of some clearance bin knee socks from Target.

I a car seat canopy using this tutorial. I bought this Alexander Henry fabric about 2 years ago. I bought a bunch because I loved it and it was on sale. I still have a ton left. The yellow fabric was in the same box of free fabric that the zebra fabric came from.

The diaper bag was made using Ikea fabric for the exterior, and an old sheet for the interior. The zipper is a vintage thrift store find. I used this tutorial.

Cross-posted to The Thrifty Garde Robe.

I Ralph

2010-11-04T18:27:00.003-05:00

Yes, that's right, I'm going to tell you about throwing up. I'm 2 weeks shy of my third trimester and I'm still puking. Woo hoo. I have to be really careful about brushing my teeth in the morning, and some days I just have to wait until after lunch to do it. Most of the time I can't use toothpaste. I apologize to anyone who has had to smell my gross breath. I'm truly sorry.

I was feeling pretty sick this morning, but I managed to eat some breakfast and I was pretty sure that it was going to stay down. As I buckled Charlotte into her booster seat in the car, I coughed, and I knew that I needed to get out of the car quickly lest I hurl all over her. Unfortunately I didn't have any containers close by, so I just puked all over my shoes, pants, and the garage floor. Oh yeah, fun times. I did feel a lot better afterward.

I'm hoping that tomorrow goes a little better. I'd like to feel well enough to post some pictures of my recent sewing projects. I'd also like to start on a coat for Charlotte. Wish me luck.

Foodgawker

2010-11-03T19:47:00.002-05:00

I've totally obsessed with Foodgawker for the last few weeks. It's the ultimate food porn site, and for some reason, even though I'm hardly ever hungry, I love to look at all the different foods. I've saved a bunch of recipes that I want to make, but my motivation has been seriously lacking. At some point, when I stop being so habitually lazy, I want to make some oatmeal cookies with butterscotch chips and pecans, cranberry scones, and banana nut muffins. We'll see if it actually happens.

Long Day

2010-11-02T21:32:00.003-05:00

I didn't actually do too much today, but my sinuses are messed up, so I'm exhausted. I took C with me to vote. I almost decided to skip it this election. It just seemed so futile and depressing. I'm either voting against one guy or the other, not really voting for someone I respect or like. That's the sad reality of the two party system here in the U.S. Your options are limited to one moron or another. Neither moron is sincere, and both want to take something away from you. Sigh.

On a positive note, I've started reading the Sookie Stackhouse series by Charlaine Harris. I'm not a huge vampire junkie, not really a junkie at all, but I love True Blood. The book is even better, because it moves at a faster pace. I'm physically reading book #1, Dead Until Dark, and I'm concurrently listening to A Touch of Dead, which is a compilation of Sookie Stackhouse short stories.

I also joined my friend Jessica, who has fallen pregnant (I love that term), and is due in May, at a prenatal belly dancing class tonight. It was a lot of fun, but I'm a little horrified at how uncoordinated and ungraceful I am with my giant belly in the way. I'm bigger than I was when I was at the end of my pregnancy with Charlotte. At least I was able to tweak my maternity pants so that hopefully they'll still fit me for a few more months.

A Kick In The Pants

2010-11-01T19:40:00.004-05:00

It's November, and like all lame, old people, I can't believe that it's here already. It's also National Blog Posting Month, and I'm going to go for a win again. Last year I managed to post every day in November, and I'm hoping that this challenge will be the kick in the pants that will get me to post on a regular basis again.

I've got a ton of sewing projects to share with you, mostly baby related, but some maternity items, and Charlotte's Halloween costume, of course. I'm also hoping to finally post an entry about being third culture/trans culture. I think that it's something that most people don't understand, and it's not something that I've really discussed with my family or friends.

I don't think that I'll be writing about politics, because I'm too frustrated and disgusted with it all. I'll probably write about parenting and pregnancy, maybe even cooking.

If you have any topics that you would like to suggest, feel free to e-mail me, or just leave a comment.

It's A Girl!

2010-10-15T22:35:00.003-05:00

I had my fancy (read really long, 1 1/2 hours) ultrasound on Wed. At first baby wouldn't cooperate too much and turned her back to use, but after some orange juice we were able to get a better look. Her heart looks great, and so does everything else, which was a big relief to us. We were even able to get a money shot and see between her legs. I could tell that she was a girl before the doctor even said anything.

I have to take some pictures of all of the stuff I've sewn for her so far. I made a really cute messenger style diaper bag out of IKEA fabric, and a car seat canopy with ric rac. I'll be working on some ruffly bonnets over the next few days and maybe a few onesie/dress outfits.

Charlotte is really happy to be getting a little sister, as per her request. I'm still adjusting, since I was 100% sure that we were having a boy. I was even calling the baby by my favorite boy name. I was a little worried yesterday because none of the names on our girl list were jumping out at me, but then her name just came to me, and now I'm fairly sure that we know what we're going with. My nickname for her is Miss Muffet. I'm not sure why, it just feels right. I'll try and post all of my craftings soon.

Coming Out, Again

2010-10-11T16:55:00.009-05:00

Today is National Coming Out Day, and in light of recent homophobic asshattery by people like Andrew Shirvell, and Carl Paladino, as well as the tragedy at Rutgers University, I decided to write a little something on the subject.

I'm not straight. I've never been straight. I've known this since I was a kid, and I came out to my family and friends when I was 16. I hate the word bisexual, so I don't use it. I guess I prefer queer, but really you can just call me by my name. It works better.

I've been lucky. Most of the people that I've come out to have been totally open minded and supportive. My family was a little freaked out, some people thought it was a phase that I would outgrow, but they've gotten over that. The only negative reaction that I've gotten was from someone who I now know is firmly blockaded in his own closet.

So, to everyone who knows me IRL and is hearing this for the first time, just remember that I'm exactly the same person I was before you read this post. I have the same hobbies, the same worries, the same personality. I'm still a mom, wife, friend, loud-mouth, etc. I know that you'll be just fine with this news, and if you're not, well...you'll just have to work on it.

The Overdue Update

2010-09-28T09:40:00.003-05:00

Yes, I know. It's been a really long time since I've posted anything. I'm hoping that changes now. I'm finally starting to feel normal again, and by that I mean only throwing up when I brush my teeth and peeing every 5 minutes. Baby is doing really well. Loads of kicking and spinning and other stuff that makes my stomach feel like it has a tilt-a-whirl in it. We have our anatomy scan in 2 weeks and we're really hoping to find out if this peanut is a boy or a girl. My bet is on team blue, but that's what I thought when I was pregnant with Charlotte.

Rick and I took the plunge a few weeks ago and hired a homebirth midwife. Yay! I'm so excited. I'll be working with her and with my hospital midwife through the entire pregnancy. I feel really lucky to have found a CNM that is totally supportive of my choice to birth at home. It can be really hard to find a main-stream practitioner that understands and respects the fact that pregnancy and birth are natural and normal, not a disease or medical crisis. I will never go back to seeing OBs again.

Now that I'm feeling better, I've been giving my sewing machine a good workout. I made a few things for the baby, and maternity tops and a cape for myself. There's no way that I'll be able to fit into my coat this winter, and I wasn't about to spend money on a maternity coat. I'll post pictures as soon as Rick takes them. You'll be able to see how huge I am. I didn't get to be this big with Charlotte until the very end of my pregnancy, but strangely I'm losing weight.

Next up on my sewing list is a wardrobe for Charlotte's Barbie doll. I think that they'll make a nice Hanukkah present. I'm also planning on making a tutu for her. She's dying to take some ballet classes. I need to get my butt in gear and sign her up.

Fundraising

2010-08-30T20:12:00.002-05:00

I just got back in town on Sunday, and I'll update you guys on my trip/pregnancy/life soon. A few hours after I got back from MI, I found out that one of Charlotte's friends was diagnosed with leukemia. This is probably some of the worst news a parent can get. Having a sick child is a horrible thing. You want to take their pain away but you're helpless.

A PayPal account has been created in order to raise funds for medical costs, as well as gas money for traveling to and from the hospital, meals while there, etc. I've re-opened my Etsy shop, and all proceeds will be donated to the family. I'll be adding some cool "new" vintage sewing patterns this week. If you would like to donate directly, you can do so through the button at the bottom of the post. Thanks.

...The Idiocy Continues

2010-08-10T14:58:00.012-05:00

If you've been a regular reader for the last year, I'm sure that you remember the fun we had with a local group trying to ban, and then burn, books in our local library. Well...the leader of the anti-smut/gay brigade is back for more library bashing, or more accurately, librarian bashing.

Apparently, our YA librarian has an agenda for the youth in our community. A GAY agenda, dun dun dun. Ginny Maziarka, aka Conservative Christian Activist - Wielding the sword of Truth, has ample evidence of this agenda. (I apologize in advance for all of the red and random font changes, take your complaints to the sword wielder).

As a case in point, let's take a look at our Young Adult Librarian's Facebook page as it looks today -HERE. (Be assured this link won't last long, but have no fear, I took screen shots for another day.)

Just a few favorites on our YA librarian's list:

I Support Wisconsin Gay Community
Obama Endorses "don't ask, don't tell" compromise in Congress
Being liberal (Ok, even though she listed this, I found it humorous and couldn't help including it...)
Gay Straight Alliance
Gay Marriage
Congresswoman Tammy Baldwin (also Gay)
Marriage Equality
Day of Silence
Ellen Degeneres
Neal Patrick Harris

AUTHORS:
Chris Crutcher (author of books such as Whale Talk - see example HERE)
Brent Hartinger (gay youth novelist who writes gay novels)

Our YOUNG ADULT LIBRARIAN also has a list of her favorite books she recommends, such as:

Alt Ed - See excerpts HERE.
Whale Talk - See excerpts HERE.
Rats Saw God - See excerpts HERE (scroll down to title).
Geography Club - See excerpts HERE.

...and other deplorable titles that expose and encourage the youth in our community to subject materials that are sexually explicit and/or inappropriate.

Draw your own conclusions. The evidence is clear.

So...What can we learn from this evidence? Is it A) No one who reads "deplorable" books should be allowed to have a job, B) No one who is a Liberal should have a job, C) No one who supports civil rights should have a job, D) No one who likes Doogie Howser or Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle should have a job, E) Everything that you care about or believe in in your personal life is automatically turned into an agenda which you force on everyone you work with, or is it F) Self-righteous, holier than thou bigots like to turn everything into a scandal?

Feel free to head over to Ginny's blog and politely give her a piece of your mind, it's obvious that she lost hers a long time ago.

Happy Anniversary

2010-07-28T22:09:00.002-05:00

Six years ago today, Rick and I got married. I can't believe that it's already been six years. We've been through so much, faced so many challenges, overcome so many obstacles, and we made it to the other side. It really feels like we've accomplished something great. When we recited or vows, we never thought that "for worse" would make up so much of those six years. We expected the normal challenges, the usual ups and downs. We've faced more in six years than most people face in a lifetime of marriage. We could have easily ended up divorced and resentful, but we're stronger than ever. Our commitment to each other has been fortified by our losses, our pain, our struggles. I can't imagine being married to anyone else. I can't imagine loving any man more than I love Rick. I'm looking forward to growing old and cantankerous (or more cantankerous) with him.

Hello Baby

2010-07-28T16:29:00.003-05:00

I had another check-up with my midwife on Monday. She still couldn't find the baby's heartbeat with her doppler so I got another ultrasound. I can't call it a sea monkey anymore since it's got arms, hands, legs, and feet, not to mention a HUGE head. It was really cool to see it waving its little hand at us. I can't wait to be able to call it he or she. Using "it" is really annoying.

I also had my big talk with the midwife. Rick and I are still hoping for a homebirth (as long as health and finances allow) but I want a pro-VBAC, pro-natural birth back-up in case we can't have a homebirth. My midwife didn't even flinch when I mentioned homebirth and said all the right things, including that I should labor at home for as long as possible before coming in, even if my water breaks (as long as it's clear). Yay! Someone who respects natural birth. She was completely receptive and supportive of my desire to be in control of my labor and delivery, and to either accept or reject any suggestions that she might have. We talked about all of the common practices, their necessity or lack thereof. We also talked about baby care immediately after the birth. She said that a lot of her clients declined eye ointment and vitamin K. She also mentioned that some pediatricians refuse to do a circumcision in the hospital if the baby didn't get a vitamin k shot. I said that type of situation wouldn't be an issue with us, since there's no way that we would circumcise. She was really happy to hear it and said that she didn't understand why people would choose to circumcise when there is no medical evidence to support it. Yay again!

I'm still feeling really sick and fatigued. I have 9 more days on Prometrium and I'm counting down the minutes. I can't wait to get off of the stuff. Maybe my blogging will finally pick up when my progesterone levels get back to normal. I'm really hoping that I'll start feeling better once I stop taking it. I want to visit my family in MI in August and I can't imagine driving out there feeling like I do right now.

Oh, I almost forgot. I got some complaints about not disclosing the results of my cabbage test. It indicate that we're having a boy, which is what my gut has been saying. We should be able to get an accurate answer in a few weeks.

Sea Monkey Is Now Jumping Bean

2010-07-19T15:44:00.004-05:00

Sorry about the lack of blogging. My nausea has somehow managed to get even worse. I've had intermittent achiness on my left side for a few days and on Thursday it wouldn't go away at all, so I called my midwife. I went in on Friday (10 weeks) and when she couldn't find the heartbeat with her doppler (totally normal at this stage of pregnancy) she wheeled in her mobile ultrasound machine, which is probably as old as I am. She found Sea Monkey right away and it was jumping around like crazy. It looks like the achiness may be due to a small cyst on my left ovary. It's not a big deal, just a pain in the ass, or more accurately, a pain in my side. I've got less than 3 weeks before I'm finished with the Prometrium, and I'm counting down the days.

I bought a purple cabbage last week thinking that I would make some cole slaw, but this morning I decided to put it to a different use. If you boil red cabbage in water you can make a pH indicator solution. The cabbage water is blue and when mixed with other liquids it will change its color based on the pH level of the added liquids. If you mix the cabbage water with urine (yum) it's supposed to be able to indicate the gender of the fetus, like those Intelligender tests. If the water turns purple then you're having a girl and if it turns red then you're having a boy. My water definitely changed colors but I think that I'll be mean and keep the results to myself for now.

Losing My Faith or: How I Let Go of Habit & Learned to Stop Praying

2010-07-11T16:46:00.001-05:00

It seems that for most atheists, shedding the yoke of god and religion is a process. It was quite a protracted process for me.

I wasn't raised in a particularly religious household, but growing up in Israel I was constantly surrounded by Jewish culture and tradition, not to mention Jews. Like most Israelis we were mostly secular, celebrating holidays but not keeping kosher or attending religious services. I studied the bible in school, as do all Israeli school children, but as historical literature, not as the literal word of god. I knew that there was a god, because everyone around me seemed to believe that he existed, but he wasn't a "Santa Claus", wish granting sort of god. I always understood that one prayed for things like emotional strength, or easing of worries, not new toys or other material things.

I distinctly remember the moment when I realized that there was no god. I was in third grade. It was a profound revelation. I instantly knew that I had been lied to, and by people who knew they were lying.

I was 10 when we moved to the States and spent the next 3 years attending a private Jewish school. We had 30-45 minutes of prayer in the morning and also prayer before and after lunch. I hated the school for many reasons, but I really hated all of the praying. I remember one day in particular. One of my teachers was absent and our principal was subbing for her. He was talking to us about god of course, and I kept asking him where his proof was. He said the beauty of nature and the birth of his children. I told him that those were subjective and his opinion, not real proof. We went back and forth for a few minutes, until he decided to change the subject. He never did give me any proof, all of his arguments were weak.

I continued being a staunch atheist for well over a decade. Everything I read reinforced the fact that there was no god. I couldn't find any satisfactory explanation as to why I should believe. However my Judaism was still very important to me. At 21 I began teaching Hebrew to kids at a local synagogue. Technically I was a Sunday school teacher, but Jewish Sunday school is very different than Christian Sunday school. Sunday school for Jews is primarily a preparation for bat and bar mitzvah, although we did cover holidays and other aspects of the religion. I didn't feel that teaching Sunday school went against my beliefs because I enjoyed being Jewish culturally.

Things started to change for me as the stress level in my life escalated. I experienced anxiety and depression and I view my re-lapse back into magical thinking as part of my emotional problems at the time. I'm not sure how or exactly when, but I started praying. It was almost like nail biting or hair twirling. I didn't even notice how often I was doing it until I was doing it all the time. I was praying to a higher power, but not a man-in-white-robe-on-throne type of god, more to some benevolent force in the universe. My prayers were mostly prayers of thanksgiving or requests for emotional strength. I had a huge list of people I would pray for very night. I took my praying to an even more intense level once I got pregnant and subsequently miscarried.

I started having a hard time with prayer after I got pregnant with Charlotte. A friend lost her 3 month old son to severe heart defects. She was so at peace and convinced that this was god's plan, and it really threw me off. I began wondering if I had been praying for the wrong things, if praying for people to be healthy and safe was wrong. If god really did have a plan for each of us wasn't it wrong to pray for a specific outcome? I started praying for things like emotional strength and stopped praying for god to keep people healthy and safe. I felt like praying for a specific outcome was wrong, since it wasn't up to me to decide how things should be.

Shortly before we moved to WI, I had another disturbing experience that put my beliefs into question. Because Charlotte was still an infant I switched my teaching schedule around and instead of teaching Hebrew 3 times a week I began teaching Judaica (holidays, bible, etc.) on Sunday mornings. One Sunday morning I was co-teaching with a colleague and he brought up the story of David as an example of how good people can make mistakes. I was familiar with the bible and its stories. I had read them many times and studied them in school, and I was certainly familiar with David's story. Listening to it again, being told to 6th graders, really opened my eyes. Was David really a good person? He sent a man to certain death so that he could marry the man's wife. That's not a mistake, it's evil. Was god really just? Why did he kill David's innocent infant child as punishment to David? What the hell was the moral of this horrific story, and what would hearing such a perverse tale do to impressionable children?

I continued to pray, but it always left me feeling uneasy. Throughout Charlotte's diagnosis and corrective surgery, I continued to pray. It got progressively harder to pray for her health when every time we went to Children's hospital I would see kids with cancer, kids who had no hope of ever growing up. After all, what sort of god would answer my prayers but ignore so many others, and wasn't this his plan all along?

Another year or so passed, and I finally decided to stop praying completely. I realized how irrational and pointless prayer was. I knew that there was no god and didn't want to just go through the motions. I was amazed at the immediate sense of relief that came with my decision. It felt exactly like the cliched "weight" being lifted off of my shoulders. I didn't pray during my pregnancy/miscarriage with Lumpy, and I'm not praying with Sea Monkey either. It feels so much better.

It doesn't bother me when people tell me that they're praying for me, if I'm going through something difficult. I know that it isn't going to make a difference in my situation, but I see it as a way for that person to express that they're thinking about me and wishing me well. No harm in that. It does bother me when people say that they'll pray for me because they want me to find god/Jesus/etc. I find that to be condescending and disrespectful. I also find it really offensive when people tell me that "x" was god's will/plan. What sort of god wants you to suffer?

Letting go of the last vestiges of belief has really allowed me to feel whole. I feel like I'm honest with myself now. I feel that my beliefs and actions are congruous. If you're going through something difficult I'm not going to tell you that I'm praying for you, because that would be a lie. I will be thinking of you however and wishing you well.

Stay Puft

2010-06-30T12:24:00.003-05:00

I had my first midwife appointment today. She confirmed that the extreme bloating/puffiness I've been experiencing is due to the Prometrium. She also asked if I've been really cranky, because that's a very common side effect. Not normal pregnancy bitchiness, but crazy head spinning bitchiness. You can ask Rick about that one. Even though I've been too queasy to eat 3 meals a day I've gained 10 pounds. Yeah. Tell me about it. It's basically all water. I'm not usually this bloated, but it's been on the warm and humid side lately and that doesn't exactly help things. I am very happy to share that Sea Monkey has attached him/herself to the back of my uterus, far away from my c-section scar. This is VERY good news. Not much else to tell. I basically cruise the couch or the bed all day, or read really dumb crap on Baby Center. Five more weeks and things will be looking up.

Let The Puking Begin

2010-06-28T13:51:00.002-05:00

After a week and a half of serious nausea I finally puked this morning. Woot. Not. I also got a call from my midwife's office to let me know that Sea Monkey's heart rate was 143 (yay) and that he/she is measuring exactly on date. My due date based on ovulation is exactly the same as the one based on the measurements from Friday. We're not out of the woods yet, but this is a really good sign.

I did a ton of sewing yesterday. I adjusted the sleeves on two shirts, hemmed three pairs of pants and converted a pair of thrift store jeans into maternity jeans. I love converting regular pants into maternity pants. It's really easy, it gives you a huge selection of pant styles to choose from, and if you're using old/thrifted pants then it also saves you a ton of money. I use old t-shirts for the belly panels and the waist bands. I'll try and take some pics soon.

Good News

2010-06-25T21:54:00.002-05:00

This morning I had my second ultrasound. I got to take my mom with me, which was really nice. I explained that they would do a transabdominal ultrasound (stomach) and then a transvaginal (kooch). My mom had never heard of a transvaginal ultrasound and was confused as to how it would be done, so I explained to her that they basically used a "dildo cam". She thought it was pretty funny. I think that term is hilarious. We got to see Sea Monkey, his/her yolk sac (yum), and his/her heart beating. It was wonderful.

BTW...I haven't been able to button my pants for two weeks, so my mom took me maternity clothes shopping. She and my grandma bought me a bunch of clothes. I seriously look 5 months pregnant. It's ridiculous.

Stupid Nausea

2010-06-22T22:19:00.003-05:00

Yep, it's finally here. Killer nausea hit right at six weeks. I was starting to think that I was going to get away with an easier first trimester than last time. I was wrong. I'm not throwing up but I'm constantly nauseous. Really really nauseous. It's pretty debilitating most days. On top of my extreme fatigue (way worse than last time) and the loopiness that the Prometrium causes, the nausea keeps me in bed or on the couch for a good 70% of the time. I'm going to give it a few more days and then ask my midwife about Zofran or something similar to keep the nausea at bay. I hate to be so whiny, but I'm used to being a productive, active person and I'm practically bed ridden. It makes me feel like a crappy mom, a crappy wife, and a crappy friend. OK, that's my pity party. Enough with that shit. My mom is coming to visit for a long weekend (YAY!). I was able to move my ultrasound to Friday so that she could come with me. She didn't get to come to any of my ultrasounds with Charlotte, so this is really exciting for both of us. I'm also glad to have her there just in case we get some bad news (I can't help but worry). I'll keep you guys updated.

Ultrasound Update

2010-06-14T18:57:00.001-05:00

I had my first ultrasound today. Basically we just saw a sac, which is to be expected at this point. I'm still really early. The tech also confirmed what I already knew, that I ovulated from my left ovary this cycle. I haven't scheduled my next ultrasound yet but it will be about 2 weeks from now. We should be able to see our sea monkey and his/her heartbeat at the next visit.

I've been sewing sleep gowns for this baby. The more I sew, the more I'm convinced that there's no way that I can wait until I deliver to find out the sex of the baby. I want to keep sewing and I can't imagine just making beige, green, and yellow stuff. I need to know. Jessica and my MIL will be very excited by this turn of events.

I'll be posting some pics of my latest projects soon. It's been gray and rainy, so I haven't had a chance to take any pictures yet. Hopefully tomorrow.

Preg-O-Rama News

2010-06-04T19:33:00.003-05:00

I got the results of my second blood test, and my HCG level has more than doubled. Yay! I'm going to go in for another draw on Monday and then I'm having my first ultrasound on the 14th. Keep your fingers crossed.

Update 06/12

Monday's numbers look good. The Prometrium is kicking my ass big time. I'll have an ultrasound update on Monday.

Gestational Anxiety Update

2010-06-02T18:44:00.003-05:00

I got the results of yesterday's blood draw this afternoon. My thyroid is normal, my HCG level is good, but my progesterone was low, so my midwife started me on Prometrium (a progesterone supplement). I'll be taking the Prometrium for the next 12 weeks. I'm getting another HCG draw tomorrow and we might continue with those until my HCG levels are high enough to schedule an ultrasound. Every little hurdle bring us closer to our goal. I just wish that it didn't seem to far away and hard to reach.

9:49pm-Update; the Prometrium sure packs a punch. I was so dizzy and nauseated that I had to lie down for an hour, but the side effects were mostly gone after that.

Here We Go Again

2010-06-01T19:17:00.003-05:00

As I've mentioned before, I decided to start charting my basal body temperature this cycle. I wanted to make sure that I was actually ovulating and that Rick and I were timing our conjugaling (Rick prefers conjugating) so as to maximize our chances for pregnancy.

It was a weird cycle, and I started thinking that I wasn't going to ovulate at all, but I got a positive ovulation test on the 19th, and according to my temps. I ovulated on the 21st. I'm not sure why I decided to take a pregnancy test Sunday evening. I was feeling pretty down, Rick was at the Indy 500, and I just wanted to prove to myself that I wasn't pregnant.

Much to my surprise, I saw two lines right away. I'm hoping that getting a positive test just 9 days after ovulating is a good sign. I went in for a blood draw today to check my HCG and progesterone levels. My midwife also ordered some more thyroid testing.

If all goes well, we'll be welcoming our baby in February. If it doesn't go well...I'll lose my mind. What's left of it anyway. The next few months are going to be nerve wracking, but I'll gladly take 36 weeks of anxiety if I get to have a healthy baby in my arms come February.

Lord, Save Us from Your Followers-Especially Dan Merchant Types

2010-05-27T23:38:00.017-05:00

Netflix is usually really good at recommending movies to me, but not this time. Lord, Save Us from Your Followers was preachy, pretentious, shallow, lumped all non-Evangelicals together (not just non-Evangelical Christians, but literally all non-Evangelicals), and was generally lame. I hated this film.

The film opens with director/writer Dan Merchant wandering the streets while wearing a jumpsuit covered in bumper stickers. He actually makes a good point (one of the few in the film) that many of us have reduced the national conversation on religion to bumper sticker statements. Merchant talks to people about the various items on his jumpsuit, while making lame attempts to be funny. This is when I realize that the 100 minute length of the film is going to feel at least ten times longer.

In one of Merchant's few (maybe his only) moments of self-awareness, he asks people what comes to mind when they hear the word "Christians". I was not surprised at the many negative comments elicited by this question. The word "hypocrites" came up several times. I have to agree. For me, the word "Christians" (not every single one I've ever met, but the category per se) immediately plugs in two neon signs in my head. One reads "hypocrites" the other reads "self-righteous". More on that later.

Next up is footage from Battlecry's 2006 rally in San Francisco. It's creepy on a Jesus Camp level. Merchant tries to downplay the significance of holding the rally in San Francisco, not to mention the "impromptu" rally held by Battlecry attendees in front of SF's city hall. Merchant then ridicules those who came out to protest the Battlecry rally. Merchant's mocking is obvious, yet he seems to think that he's being evenhanded. We're then treated to an interview with Ron Luce, the creator of Battlecry. Merchant never asks him any questions or makes any attempt to call him out on anything. Luce is clearly both homophobic and a liar.

"and so first thing they said to me is um, so what do you think about, 'cause most of them (protesters) were men dressed like women, so what do you think about these homosexuals? I said, oh we love homosexuals. Now, we don't like what they do, we don't like their lifestyle, but we love them as people."

A) most of the protesters were not men dressed like women. B) men dressed like women = drag queens, not necessarily teh gay. C) the whole we-love-teh-gay-but-don't-like-their-lifestyle bit is a patronizing, homophobic lie. Luce can't possibly have a problem with their lifestyle. It's like saying that you have a problem with the heterosexual lifestyle. He has a problem with their sex lives. Something that is none of his damned business. OK, I have to stop myself of my head will explode. Onward.

Luce is also allowed to rant about how Christians are persecuted in the US, a belief that Merchant seems to agree with and endorses throughout the film. Here is how Luce explains the protest against his city hall rally, and his choice of the SF city hall for a rally.

"They (protesters) probably had someone, who called themselves a Christian, really mistreat the,. Treat them very poorly, and um now they think that's what all Christians are like...Here, we live in a quote Christian nation, but we have a very un-Christian culture. We have a culture that is violent, violently opposed to Christian values, and part of that is because um people that have faith and values haven't spoken up very much, and so people without faith and without biblical values have spoken up. Whoever speaks up, they get to shape the culture, they win...so it wasn't in-your-face about that particular, how the city hall had been used in the past (same-sex marriage), it was more like, we happen to have an event here."

Um, yeah. I call bullshit on that. All of it. No one is persecuting Christians in the US. People disagreeing with you, or not thanking you for all of your proselytizing, or expecting you to leave them and their beliefs alone is not persecution. The protesters didn't show up because some straw-man pseudo-Christian had wronged them in the past, they showed up because a vast number of Christians are currently making every effort to deny them their civil rights. I also love how Luce makes the assumption that many of his fellow Christians make, and acts like non-belief in Jesus = lack of morals or values. If people can only get values and morals from Jesus, how is it that humanity managed to keep itself alive for all of those years prior to Jesus. How is it that the Chinese didn't wipe themselves out before Christianity reached them? I can't spend too much time on this asshole, gotta get to the rest of this crappy film.

Throughout the film Merchant gives tons of screen time to Rick Santorum. Here's my favorite Santorum quote from the film.

"Obviously a lot of the moral questions of the day, we claim ownership of those answers, and I think we need to. I'm not suggesting that we abandon that, that we don't stand up for the truth, but I think that we have to do so in a less condemnatory fashion."

I'll skip over the inherent arrogance of his belief that Christianity is the only truth, or the moral answer to our modern day questions, and give you another of his quotes (not from the film) instead.

"And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does. It all comes from, I would argue, this right to privacy that doesn't exist in my opinion in the United States Constitution, this right that was created, it was created in Griswold — Griswold was the contraceptive case — and abortion. And now we're just extending it out. And the further you extend it out, the more you — this freedom actually intervenes and affects the family. You say, well, it's my individual freedom. Yes, but it destroys the basic unit of our society because it condones behavior that's antithetical to strong healthy families. Whether it's polygamy, whether it's adultery, where it's sodomy, all of those things, are antithetical to a healthy, stable, traditional family..."

Nothing condemnatory about that. Oh, and don't miss the part about how we don't have a right to privacy in our own homes. Go read the whole article. It's mind blowing. Basically if I, a consenting adult, choose to perform oral sex on my husband, a consenting adult, we should both go to jail because somehow a blowjob is going to tear our family apart? Why exactly is he so preoccupied with what consenting adults do behind closed doors? I'm sorry, but if Merchant is portraying Rick Santorum as some level headed, middle-of-the-road, tolerant Christian, I can't take anything else he says seriously.

Next on Merchant's agenda is making it look like we're all more similar in our beliefs than we think we are. He cites a Harris poll indicating that nine out of ten Americans believe in the existence of god. His numbers are a little off, and he leaves out some very important data. According to Harris' actual data, 82% of Americans believe in some form of god, however only 58% are certain of that belief. In all fairness, I think that there are a few other data points from this poll that need to be included in order to get the whole picture. 42% of Americans believe in ghosts, 32% believe in UFOs, 26% believe in astrology, 23% believe in witches, and 20% believe in reincarnation. So some people will pretty much believe anything.

Merchant does attempt to point out that while a majority of Americans believe in "god", not everyone believes in his god. His attempt at humour fails miserably and, yet again, reveals his true opinion of non-Christians.

"Now of course, when nine out of ten people believe in god, they're not all referring to the one that parted the Red Sea. Some people think that god is a tree, or that good is that happy feeling you get on your birthday. Others think that Clapton is god, and some think god lives somewhere in the Horsehead nebula and is still waiting for the Voyager space probe to arrive with his Chuck Berry."

If this is starting to feel like a mishmash of random religion related stuff, you're right. The film is all over the place.

Merchant's next query is why people are so annoyed by the Jesus fish emblem. He shows all sorts of other emblems and does some whining about them, but he never makes an effort to find out if people really are annoyed by the Jesus fish, or why they're annoyed by it. I'll volunteer my two cents. I'm not particularly annoyed by the Jesus fish, everyone is free to express their opinions, even if they choose do it on their car bumpers. what I find interesting is that this type of merchandise is almost exclusively aimed at Christians. Bumper sticker, jewelry (i.e. WWJD), plaques, towels, spoon rests, aprons, almost anything with enough surface area for Jesus' image or a bible verse is fair game. Doesn't it cheapen the message? I thought that Jesus was against using religion to turn a profit. This is probably one of the reasons why "hypocrites" is a word that many people associate with Christians.

In Texas, Merchant tackles the "war on Christmas". Initially, when he called the "war" silly, I thought that he meant that it's silly to claim that there's a war on Christmas, I was wrong. Merchant complains that he only saw one nativity while driving around Texas, and that he only saw "holiday" decorations, not Christmas decorations. Let me give you a clue Dan, If they're red and green, and they feature carolers and reindeer, they're Christmas decorations. After some whining, Merchant does a cheesy bit about Christmas censorship. My eyes almost rolled out of my head.

As if the whole Christmas-under-attack bit wasn't asinine enough, we now arrive in St. Paul, where apparently the Easter bunny has been ousted from city hall. Seriously? The Easter bunny? It's not even a Christian symbol, it clearly pagan, why would a devout Christian be so pissed off about not having it on display? Did I mention how difficult it was for me to watch this film all the way through?

The logical next step, er...I mean the most ludicrous jump Merchant could make, after the booting out of the Easter bunny, was to draw up a proclamation stating that St. Paul should no longer be called St. Paul (a religious name) but rather...wait for it...New Leningrad. Because it's not like changing the name is dumb and impractical to begin with, but also anyone who isn't all about celebrating Jesus is surely into celebrating a mass murdering Communist dictator. Merchant's other city name suggestions are; Havanaville, Michael Mooreopolis, Roe v. Wade City, Franken Heights (as in Al), Garofaloburg (as in Janeane), Lenintown, and Alec Baldwin. Oh the pomposity!

Who, one might ask, is responsible for this "war" on Christmas? Who should be stoned to death? Luckily it wasn't the Jews this time around, but the ACLU (which Merchant spells with a hammer & sickle in place of the letter C).

"Now the ACLU, for want of a scapegoat, has been putting the pinch on public displays of religion, and now nobody's sure what's OK and what's not."

Sigh. The ACLU simply tries to make sure that government does not endorse any religion, they couldn't care less if you wanted to shout "merry Christmas" all day long in the middle of the park, or put up a giant lit up plastic nativity on your front lawn, or decorate hard boiled eggs which are supposedly laid by a giant bunny in honor of your zombie god. As for what's OK and what's not, well Danny boy, that's simple. Just be respectful of other people's choices, and don't try to force them to celebrate your holidays. OK, I'm taking a deep breath. We've still got a lot of ground to cover.

I actually enjoyed this next part of the film. Merchant decides to host a game, a la Family Feud, which he calls Culture Wars. The goal is to get "polar opposites" to think outside their respective boxes and think like their opponents. The first set of contestants were team "Liberal Media Elite" and team "Young Conservatives" which were referred to as Christians by merchant, because everyone knows that Christians = Republicans and vice versa. The questions were all political or religious in nature and set out to see if each side understood the other. Here are some quotes from the Young Conservatives after they got their asses kicked by the Liberal Media Elite (248 to 27).

"They did a much better job understanding who we were, than we did of who they were."

"Whether it was abortion or Darwin or something, they were able to pick off of the board our answers, but it was much harder for us to pick off of the board some of their answers."

"We could not get outside of the world we live in. Every answer was right from where we live."

Let's go back to that Darwin comment. One of the questions was "Name the most intriguing aspect of Darwin's theory of evolution" (it's poorly worded, I know). The young conservatives, and this was a group effort on their part, replied "the big bang". BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA The big bang?! It was like watching Celebrity Jeopardy. At this point, Merchant realizes that age might be an issue, so he sets up another game with college students, the "Agnostic Scholars" v. the "Young Believers". This time the heathens kicked ass even harder (327 to 0).

The first two teams got to spend some time together in the green room after the game, and they apparently had a nice conversation. It was funny, but again not surprising, to hear one of the Young Conservatives share his amazement at liking some of the members of the Liberal Media Elite. He seemed shocked to discover that they were nice people. This is what happens when you shelter yourself from the real world. This is what happens when you only hang out with people from your church or other Christians who are of the same mind as you. This is what happens when you only read "Christian" books and watch "Christian" TV shows, and participate only in church sponsored activities. You are unable to understand anyone who isn't like you and immediately dismiss them or judge them as inferior.

Throughout the film, Merchant makes excuses for intolerant behavior by Christians. it's clear that he believes that the in-your-face approach of fundamentalists and Evangelicals is a result of Christians persecution. He notes that as Christians, they should take the higher road, again implying that somehow non-Christians have perpetrated some injury to him and those like him. Part of Merchant's apologetics involve him trying to paint Christianity as having a loving, inclusive, and humble history. He shows lots of footage of Christian charity work but glosses over all of the deeply injurious evils that the church has perpetrated against non-Christians.

During all of this Christians-are-the-only-ones-helping-out fest, we get a few really annoying quotes. The first is from merchant, as a reaction to helping Katrina victims in Biloxi.

"Did we find god? Yeah, I think we did, and I don;t think he brought the storm as an act of vengeance. The act of god was in the recovery."

The next quotes are from Bono, regarding his One Campaign.

"This is what happens when god gets on the move. Crazy crazy stuff happens. Popes were seen wearing sunglasses. Jesse Helms had a ghetto blaster now. Evidence of the spirit moving. It was really, it was breathtaking."

"The one thing we can all agree, all faiths, all ideologies, is that god is with the vulnerable and the poor. god is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house. God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives. God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war."

To that attitude I say, if god was with them they wouldn't be poor, or dying of AIDS, or dead from a hurricane, or buried under the rubble of war. Your god is supposedly omniscient, omnipresent, all powerful, and full of love for you, but he's OK with widespread suffering. How can you explain that? How can you credit him with helping you get a good job, find your spouse, keep your car running, all the while knowing that there are children starving to death, dying of cancer, and being used as sex slaves. Why can't your god be bothered to help them as he has helped you?

The most disturbing part of the film, takes place in Portland (Oregon). Merchant sets up a confession booth at the local gay pride fair, so that he can confess Christianity's sins to those attending. This was almost too much for me. It was so manipulative and pompous, and Merchant looks really smug most of the time. Who is Merchant to apologize for all Christians anyway? It's one thing to apologize for your own poor behavior, which he did, but it's another thing entirely, to act as if you can absolve every other Christian of their poor behavior. Regardless of Merchant's motives, his apologies in the name of his cohorts is meaningless, since most of them insist on denying basic civil rights to the LGBT community.

Merchant then acts as if Christians should love everyone unconditionally, as per Jesus' instructions, and how compassion should be given and not earned. From the other side of his mouth Merchant mocks a drag queen that he interviewed at the SF rally, by calling him a "nun in clown makeup", but then adds;

"Now I don't know what you think of Tim, but would it make a difference to you to learn that his mother died when he was four, that his dad and stepmother were habitual drug users, and that the first time he had sex, at sixteen, he contracted HIV".

This is presented almost as the reason for why this man dresses in drag. Now which is it Danny? Does Tim deserve compassion simply because he's a person, or does he deserve compassion because of his story? Either way, I'm not buying it. You can't claim to love someone, to have compassion for them, and deny them civil rights at the same time.

I couldn't wait for this film to end, but Merchant had to keep mocking non-Christians. His reaction to a homeless aid event in Oregon (the state with the highest % of people who claim no religious affiliation) was this;

"If this outpouring of love can occur in the least religious state in America, then I have hope."

Because everyone knows that compassion and love are things that only religious people are capable of.

Merchant ends the film with yet another annoying diatribe. Here's a sample.

"So I guess it isn't the gospel of love that's dividing America, It's us. All of us, the lord's followers and the rest of ya'll, and we're gonna have to decide how to treat each other even when we don't agree on the big issues..."

Here's the bottom line. Dan Merchant supposedly set out to find out why the gospel is so divisive, along the way he bent over backwards with Christian apologetics, mocked non-Christians at every opportunity, set up clear distinctions that it's us (Christians) vs. them (non-Christians), and basically sounded like a self-righteous pompous ass. He did exactly what he criticized others for doing, discussing religion with a bumper sticker attitude. At no point did he realize that constantly trying to convert people, either with finger-wagging evangelical ranting or the softer touch of moderate Christians, is wrong and inherently disrespectful of people.

Sadly, many Christians that I've met are convinced that they are the possessors of the truth, even though they have no evidence, and that surely you wouldn't reject that truth if they explained it to you. Guess what, we heard what you have to say, we've read about it, thought about it, and understand it, and we still don't want it. Leave us the hell alone. I have enough respect for you, as a person, to know that you're entitled to your own opinions and beliefs, why can't you show me the same respect? I'm also sick and tired of Christians acting as if they're being persecuted. You're not! No one is preventing you from practicing your beliefs. Expecting the government to stay out of religion is not persecution. Live and let live is not persecution. Just because people ain't buying what you're selling doesn't mean that you're being persecuted.

After this travesty of a documentary was finally over, a light bulb went off in my head. I had a theory that if I Googled reviews for the movie, they would fall into one of two categories, A) this is awesome, just the slap in the face that the church needs (from the self-congratulatory, we're progressive and radical, types of Christians) and B) gays are going to hell and we need to tell them that, you're just trying to make everyone feel good about their sinning (from the Evangelical fundy types). I was spot on. I guess I would have scored well in the Culture Wars game. See, I understand you guys, you can stop proselytizing to me now.

Giveaway Day Winner

2010-05-22T10:09:00.003-05:00

The winner of the vintage pattern giveaway is comment #11

Aunt Spicy said...

Be still my heart...those patterns totally rock!!!! What a fun give away! (and ps. I so miss Hobby Lobby as well!)

May 17, 2010 6:01 PM

Congratulations!

I'll be hosting another giveaway soon, so keep your eye out.

Giveaway Day

2010-05-16T19:35:00.008-05:00

1950's blouse, 2 skirts & a cummerbund size 14 (bust 34", waist 26", hip 36")

1970 shirt, pants & skort size 12 (bust 34", waist 25.5", hip 36")

1985 skirts & culottes size 10 (waist 25", hip 34.5")

I'm giving away a vintage sewing pattern. Here are the rules;

One entry per household.
Ship to addresses in North America only.

To enter just leave a comment telling me which of the patterns you'd like to win. Make sure to leave an e-mail address in the comment so that I can contact you. I'll be picking a winner (or winners if there are a lot of comments) using a random number generator. Comments will stay open until May 20th. Good luck, and don't forget to check out the Sew, Mama, Sew! blog for a complete list of participating bloggers.

Miscellanea: Part XXVI

2010-05-16T14:30:00.005-05:00

I'm participating again, but this time I'm not giving away something handmade. Tomorrow I will post 3 different vintage sewing patterns and the winner gets to pick which one they want.

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I'm bummed and annoyed that I can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. Apparently they think that everyone must be converted to Christianity and are working hard to make it clear to their non-Christian customers that who they are is just plain wrong. I just wish that I would have known how they felt about people like me before I ever set foot in their stores. I hate knowing that a good chunk of my money went to them.

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I can't remember how I found this Newsweek article, but it talks about why teenagers are less mature today than they used to be and why their brains are developing so slowly. This is another perfect reason to homeschool. Real world interactions provide much better learning situations than a classroom.

"Basically, we long ago decided that teens ought to be in school, not in the labor force. Education was their future. But the structure of schools is endlessly repetitive. “From a Martian’s perspective, high schools look virtually the same as sixth grade,”...Strapped to desks for 13+ years, school becomes both incredibly monotonous, artificial, and cookie-cutter...We group them all within a year or so of one another in age. We equip them with similar gadgets, expose them to the same TV shows, lessons, and sports. We ask them all to take almost the exact same courses and do the exact same work and be graded relative to one another. We give them only a handful of ways in which they can meaningfully demonstrate their competencies. And then we’re surprised they have some difficulty establishing a sense of their own individuality.”

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If you haven't watched Frontline's The Vaccine War, I highly recommend that you do. It's evenhanded and covers loads of information. I'm disappointed that they didn't air the footage they had of Dr. Bob Sears (The Vaccine Book). I'm not against vaccinating but I like his alternative schedule. Full text of all the Vaccine Wars interviews including the one with Dr. Sears can be found here.

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I found this guide via Pharyngula. Click on the image to see a larger version.

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I found this article, about Philadelphia's DHS pressuring a teen into a later term abortion, via Happy Bodies. When it comes to unplanned pregnancies our goal should be to empower the woman, regardless of age, marital status, SES, or any other factor, to make the choice that she wants to make, the choice that she feels comfortable with, the choice that will cause her the least amount of pain and regret. If she chooses to abort, we should not stand in her way or use pressure tactics or guilt to change her mind, she should be given medical information and access to care. If she chooses to carry the pregnancy to term we should help her in every way possible to parent her child. Adoption shouldn't even be mentioned unless the woman brings it up or says that she doesn't want to parent. Pushing a mother to have an abortion or to relinquish for adoption with the threat of taking her other children away is disgusting and immoral.

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As you guys already know, I am now the proud owner of a Diva Cup. I'm planning on knitting a squid cozy for it. I can't resist, it's just too cute.

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I'm going to leave you with this video, which is funnier without the volume.

OK, Mostly

2010-05-15T13:11:00.003-05:00

I haven't been feeling too great since my miscarriage. I'm not talking about my emotional state. My hair has been falling out, I have acne, and I just haven't felt like myself. I have a history of thyroid problems, so I went in to see my midwife and talk about my crazy symptoms. A whacked out thyroid is easy to check, so she ordered some blood work. We talked about my symptoms and how I've been feeling. My midwife said that she wanted me to have an ultrasound because a lot of what I was experiencing sounded like PCOS. Yay, trans-vaginal ultrasound.

My blood work results came back normal, and after nearly a week of freaking out I got the thumbs up on my ultrasound results as well. So I'm totally healthy and normal. OK, maybe not normal, but I don't have PCOS and my thyroid is in proper working order. The hair loss and other symptoms could just be my body recouping from the pregnancy, or they could be stress related. I'm thinking that it's probably a little bit of both.

Rick and I are still working on getting me knocked up, but after 2 disappointing months I've decided to take it up a notch, or ten. To my prenatals, I've added 4000 IUs of vitamin D, 50 mg of B6 in the am and another 50 in the pm, and a low dose Aspirin. I've also started charting my basal body temperature and cervical mucus. Several people recommended Toni Weschler's Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I'm also doing the pillow under the ass for 30 minutes after sex. I hate that part. If we're not successful this month I'm going to add Mucinex to my routine.

None of this is fun, and it's all stressful and shitty and depressing, but not being pregnant feels worse than anything else, so we're going to keep trying.

I Love Betty White

2010-05-12T15:42:00.006-05:00

I'm going to assume that you know that last week's SNL was hosted by Betty White. She was brilliant and it was the first funny episode in a really long time. SNL has pretty much sucked the last few years, with the exception of Andy Samberg's digital shorts.

This was my favorite sketch.

This is a close second.

You should go to the SNL video page and watch the whole episode. They've also got videos of some sketches that didn't make the show.

The Good Ones

2010-05-12T10:04:00.004-05:00

I was going to write a post elaborating on some of the horrible experiences I had with teachers, both in grade school and in college, but I've decided that I'd rather mention the good ones. The bad far outweighs the good sadly, but I prefer to remember the latter.

I had a really lovely kindergarten teacher (in Israel). She sewed her own clothes which always had elaborate sequins on them. She always treated me with respect.

In sixth grade (2 years after we moved the the US) I had another wonderful teacher. She made me feel special and smart, and for a kid with a heavy accent who didn't fit in, her kindness meant the world to me.

Throughout high school I had art classes with a truly dedicated teacher. She was tough and had very high standards for us but her passion and interest in art was obvious. She always encouraged us to try new things and her enthusiasm was contagious. I was her student aid my senior year and she entrusted me with important tasks and treated me like an adult.

As a junior or senior I took AP biology. I was probably the only student in that class who wasn't planning on entering the medical field. I took the class because I love biology. My teacher, the legendary Olga Gadzala, also loved biology and science. She was easily one of the best teachers I've ever had. I wasn't signed up for the state AP biology exam, and when she got the list she immediately pulled some strings and signed me up. She did this completely without my knowledge and then told me that I had to take the exam because it would be a waste not to.

Another of my favorite teachers, Sharon Sullivan, taught advanced English. She was also in love with Rick. Not really, he was just her favorite and we all knew it. Rick and I actually met in her class and I she was really happy to see us as a couple. She taught me so much about good writing and critical thinking. She took Rick and I out to lunch the summer after our freshman year in college, and then invited us to her house for a student party. She was really disappointed when Rick showed up without me and told her that we were no longer together.

What these teachers had in common, other than a true passion for the subjects they taught, was their respect for me and their other students as people. We were younger than them but we were never treated as inferior. We had less experience than them, but our opinions were never treated as silly or useless. My opinion of institutional education will probably never change, but perhaps if the ratio of excellent:terrible teachers, or even excellent:mediocre teachers had been higher my opinion of public school teachers would also be higher.

Charlotte's First Speedsuit

2010-05-11T15:03:00.005-05:00

I fell in love with this pattern a few weeks ago at one of our local thrift shops. I have so many pictures of myself as a kid wearing this style of shorts and tanks, typical 80's kids wear. I knew that I had to make a speedsuit (romper) for Charlotte.

This interlock came from the remnant bib. I LOVE remnant bin shopping. I used bias tape for the binding and ties since I couldn't find any fold over braid at the store and I didn't feel like ordering any.

This interlock came from the thrift store. I've been really lucky at finding great fabrics at my local thrift stores.

I also made another batch of undies for Charlotte. Three of the pairs are made from thrift shop fabric and the other two are made from remnant bin fabric.

I used fold over elastic for this batch and I think that the edges look fantastic. They really look professionally finished.

Cross-posted to The Thrifty Garde Robe.

Natural Learning

2010-05-10T21:30:00.007-05:00

I spent part of my weekend in Oshkosh at the Wisconsin Parent's Association Home Education Conference. I got to hang out with friends, meet some new people, and get even more validation that homeschooling is the best choice for our family. Our decision to homeschool Charlotte is firmer than ever.

My initial decision to homeschool came long before I was pregnant with Charlotte or even married to Rick. I had just finished my B.S. in psychology ('99) and decided to get an M.A. in education. The transition from the college of science and school of psychology to the education department was jarring. I was shocked at the differences in academic ability, expectations, and overall intelligence of my fellow students. I'm not saying that there weren't any intelligent people in the program but they were few and far between. I have actually heard the same sentiments from many other people, including professors. Based on what I saw I couldn't imagine sending my children to a public school.

Over the years my convictions about homeschooling have only grown stronger. Institutional learning isn't just an ineffective way to learn, it can actually hinder learning and destroy a child's natural curiosity. Schools divide children into arbitrary age categories which have nothing to do with ability, emotional maturity, readiness to learn, or any other aspect of learning. Students are often given busywork both in the classroom and as homework. Class content is based on standardized tests set by the state, not a well rounded curriculum. I could go on and on.

Public education leaves much to be desired, and while the lack of academic quality is disturbing, what bothers me most is the presence of teachers who should clearly not be working with other human beings, let alone young, powerless, impressionable ones. I have yet to meet anyone who has never encountered a teacher on a power trip.

During a session on unschooling a mother noted that she has back problems and if she got up quietly to stretch, none of us would scold her for it, but if she had been a child in school she would have immediately been told to sit down. Another mother said that she decided to homeschool after her soon, who has ADHD, was repeatedly humiliated by one of his teachers. I know of other children who have faced such humiliation. It isn't just children with special needs, or those in need of extra help who incur the ire of their teachers. I have had many negative experiences with teachers because they were threatened by my intelligence. One in particular, would often set out to catch me not paying attention in class. I listen and retain information better when I doodle, she took this as a personal insult, and would always try and embarrass me in front of the class by asking me questions. She wasn't very good at hiding her anger when I answered correctly. I had at least one these teachers every year throughout elementary and middle school. I had a few of them in high school as well.

I could write entire blog posts about each of my horrible teachers. Luckily I did have a handful of truly wonderful teachers as well. They, along with my love of reading, got me through k-12 with my curiosity and love of learning still intact. I think that most people who survive 13 years of institutional education with a love of learning have done so in spite of that education, not because of it.

I was fortunate enough to attend a session on unschooling led by a stay-at-home dad who had unschooled his three daughters. After hearing him talk about his journey I knew that I had to overcome my fears (ingrained in me by a rigid and misguided society) and unschool Charlotte. He asked each of us to explain what unschooling meant to us. For me, unschooling is natural learning, the freedom to explore whatever questions or topics interest a child, in an environment that is safe and judgement free. It requires us to respect children as human beings and allow them to develop as people without forceful attempts to control or mold them. It also requires us to put aside our own insecurities and learn to trust our children.

I was really moved by this session. I love knowing that Charlotte will be able to blossom as a person, to explore her world, to guide her own life. I want her to have a good sense of self, high self-esteem, and internal motivation to act. I'm so excited to continue our journey of homeschooling.

Paranoga

2010-05-09T19:52:00.007-05:00

Apparently religion is being taught in one of our local middle schools. It's not Christianity, as you would expect from the two newest members of our school board. Apparently it's Hinduism, and our girls are being indoctrinated in it.

"I just wonder why a public school would incorporate Yoga into an activity held at school. Yoga is deeply rooted in Hinduism-isn't that a religion? Who authorized this? What does this have to do with public education? What were the parents told about the Yoga (and drumming?)? This was many of the girls' FIRST YOGA EXPERIENCE! The schools have engaged in proselytizing, using our kids as the prize."

Oh, wait...it's just yoga as part of an after-school program to help prevent bullying and build self-esteem in girls, which according to that paranoid blogger "is the type of school sponsored activity that could lead to law suits by parents". Mmmmmmkay.

Luckily for paranoid blogger and other paranoid Christians everywhere there is a new kind of yoga that is totally Jesus friendly.

What the hell happened to Janine Turner!? I guess she found Jesus, Alexis Vogel and restylane. I'll never be able to watch Northern exposure again.

You can watch an extended excerpt from the video here. It's basically standard yoga poses that have been given new churchy names, and a wide eyed Janine reciting bible verses.

Cloth Pantyliners

2010-05-07T15:09:00.005-05:00

There are tons of free patterns/tutorials for making cloth pads and pantyliners. This is my version.

I used a disposable pad to trace a template. BTW, the best disposable pads out there are Always Infinity pads, they can soak up a gallon of windex and still feel dry.

Here's my pattern. You might want to make your pattern longer or shorter depending on your own preferences.

I cut the top layer from some suede cloth (it's supposed to be really good for wicking away moisture), the bottom layer is printed flannel, and there are 2 more layers of plain flannel for the center of the pad.

Sandwich your fabric with the suede cloth (top fabric) right side up, then add the flannel (bottom later) wrong side up, then add the 2 middle layers on top of the flannel. Sew all around the edge, leaving a 2" gap. Turn the pad right sides out and topstitch along the edge closing up the 2" gap.

I added another row of stitching around the center of the pad. Add your snap.

Here's the pad folded up. You can also just layer the fabric together as follows; flannel wrong side up, 2 middle layers, suede right side up. Then stitch around the edge, zigzag over the edge, add an inner row of stitching and add your snap. It's faster but gives you a less finished looking edge.

Cross-posted to The Thrifty Garde Robe.

Dirty Hippy

2010-05-07T15:09:00.000-05:00

That's what I'm turning into. I blame Jessica. I'm not really sure when this transition started but now I'm using vinegar and baking soda for cleaning, I stopped shaving, I'm homeschooling, I'm all about breastfeeding and homebirth, my Diva Cup should be arriving any day now, and I made cloth pull-ups and pantyliners. Just for the record, I will not be sporting dreads or smelling like patchouli any time soon.

I'll be posting tutorials for the pull-up and pantyliners in the near future. I also have other projects to post, including a really cool bag from Jan Andrea.

Summer Music

2010-05-01T19:40:00.005-05:00

From The Joshua Tree. They used to be so good.

From the first album of The Idan Raichel Project. I visited Israel shortly after this single came out and I fell in love with it. It's in Hebrew and Amharic.

Another song from The Idan Raichel Project, also in Hebrew and Amharic.

From the album Little Creatures.

Your Uterus Or Your Liberty

2010-05-01T11:46:00.010-05:00

Oklahoma has recently passed two laws which basically set out to shame and control women. Women seeking prenatal care in OK can no longer be sure that their doctors are giving them accurate and full medical information about their developing fetuses.

"Under this new law, a doctor may withhold information, mislead or even blatantly lie to a pregnant woman and her partner about the health of their baby if the doctor so much as thinks that fetal test results would cause a woman to consider abortion."

Women in OK will also be forced to have a medically unnecessary ultrasound if they want to have an abortion. Many have called this legalized rape, and I agree. If there is no medical need for this diagnostic test, then what purpose does it serve other than to coerce women to remain pregnant?

Florida has also recently passed a similar ultrasound requirement. At least in Florida you can forgo the ultrasound if you show proof of rape or incest. Proof. Seriously. I guess they have a little bit of empathy for rape and incest victims who don't want to remain pregnant. They're victims right, not just slutty whore sluts who found themselves pregnant from consensual sex. However, they still need to provide proof. Wouldn't want a slut lying about getting raped in order to avoid...getting raped. In Canada you can be raped multiple times even if you're not an abortion seeking whore.

This sort of thing affects all women who plan to be pregnant. The same paternalism is used to imprison women in hospitals and force them to undergo dangerous, potentially deadly procedures such as inductions and c-sections.

This is why I am pro-choice. Any infringements on our liberties, even seemingly minor ones, have wide spread and long term effects. If a woman can be imprisoned in order to force her to comply with bedrest, can be forced to have her abdomen sliced open, can be forced to endure instrumental and digital rape, what's to stop other infringements upon her rights? Are we going to set up hotlines for people to call when they see their pregnant neighbor smoking cigarettes or drinking wine? Should they call if they see her eating sushi or lunch meat? What if she refuses to take prenatal vitamins? Just because a woman is pregnant does not make her any less of a human being. She cannot be treated as an incubator. Her life, her choices, her personhood must take precedence over any perceived or actual needs her fetus may have.

The Skeeves

2010-05-01T10:59:00.005-05:00

I'm really anal retentive about cleaning. You guys already know that, but I thought that is post might need a disclaimer.

I was chatting with my brother last night and the topic of skeeviness came up. He's been house hunting and has seen some nasty houses. I think that anyone who's ever been house hunting can relate. He then shared a truly disturbing skeevy hotel story with me, and we agreed that hotels, even nice ones, are universally nasty. When you stay in a hotel I think that it's safe to assume that everything in the room has at least one bodily fluid on it. This has been proven time and again by those horrible news magazine shows and their black lights.

Here are the hotel skeeve safety rules that Rick and I came up with last night;

Never walk around in your hotel room in your bare feet, because ewwwww. My brother wears his flip flops in the bathtub, but since the bathroom is cleaned on a daily basis Rick and I don't think this is necessary. We do however urge you to throw a towel on the floor and shuffle around. No bare feet!
One of the first things you should do upon entering your hotel room is to remove the comforter off of the bed. Said comforter is often referred to as the "cum blanket" for a reason (I've also head it referred to as the "ass blanket"). Rick likes to do this with the ice-bucket tongs. This is an excellent strategy because it prevents any skin contact with the "cum blanket" and makes use of the tongs. You weren't going to use them for ice were you?
Never ever use the ice-bucket or tongs for anything edible. Seriously, what's wrong with you? Odds are good that some guy put the ice-bucket by the bed after a bender because he didn't want to get out of bed to pee. Yeah. You want to use it for ice now? Plus, have you seen the ice machines at these places?
If you're dead set on touching someone else's spooge, poo, or cooties, then go ahead and touch the phone or the TV remote. Those two items are the most skeeve saturated things in a hotel room.

I See London, I See France

2010-04-26T22:14:00.002-05:00

I was putting away some laundry the other day and while sorting out Charlotte's underpants and socks I remembered that she needed some larger pairs. I looked at her old underpants and thought, hey I can make underpants. I have a bunch of knit fabric in my stash, plus old t-shirts from friends (my friends give me all of their old clothes, love you guys), and making a pattern is a piece of cake. So here's my underpants tutorial.

I like using pins to make a pattern. You don't have to destroy your old garment in the process and you don't need any special tools. Get an old cardboard box, break it up and fold it in half so that there are 2 layers of cardboard for you to work on. Grab some scrap paper or pattern paper and put in on the cardboard. Place your item, underpants in this case, and pin around each section. There were 3 sections total for the underpants (I love that word), front, back, and crotch. After you've pinned the section, remove the pins and garment and then cut around the pin holes adding a seam allowance.

Here are my 3 pattern pieces. I pinned each section separately and then cut them out, adding a 1/4 seam allowance. I actually made the pattern pieces bigger than the original because I wanted bigger underpants. Cut out 1 back piece, 1 front piece, and 2 crotch pieces from knit fabric or an old t-shirt.

Layer the front piece between the two crotch pieces, with the crotch pieces right sides in.

Here's another view of the fabric sandwich. Sew across.

Roll up your back piece as pictured above.

Roll up your crotch-front-crotch sandwich as pictured above.

Sandwich your back piece between the two crotch pieces as pictured above, and sew.

Turn your fabric right sides out and it should look like the above picture. As you can see the back and front pieces are connected by the double layer crotch.

Add elastic to the waist and leg edges. I used a stretch lace, but any softer narrow elastic would work.

Here's the finished product, and 2 more pairs made from old t-shirts. I'm going to make at least 3 or 4 more pairs. They were really easy to sew.

Cross posted to The Thrifty Garde Robe

Long Neck Giraffes & Pet Cats & Dogs

2010-04-18T15:14:00.004-05:00

I just saw this on Pharyngula. It's hard to decide which is funnier, the ICP video or the spoof.